Reasonable Doubt
by Sophia.Love.Linstead
Summary: What happens when Erin Lindsay, high powered defense attorney meets Jay Halstead? An ex Ranger charged with a cold case murder, can she get him off? Does she fall for her client?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'M BACK! I was going to start with my two finale ideas but truthfully, I'm not ready to re watch the finale to do that yet lol**

 **Then I was going to update an existing story but for some reason, I just couldn't think of what to write yet.**

 **Yes, I've heard the rumors about Sophia leaving. I'm not sure what to think anymore. Trying to wait for an official confirmation, but I realize she would have seen it and her not saying anything might be a sign she is going.**

 **I'll still be here writing Linstead though, keeping them alive... like other writers.**

 **At the end of the day I'm sure we all want Sophia happy. Anyway enough of that.**

 **I had a really good holiday! I don't want to go back to work in another day lol Chicago was the highlight, my gosh what an absolutely beautiful city. I'm so in love.**

 **I am sick though and have horrible jet lag.. add on the fact I think I forgot how to write... this is what you get lol**

 **Now has anyone seen the show Doubt? Because I got the idea from there, this is obviously an AU fic.**

Reasonable Doubt – Part One

"Now remember, the DA is going to say a lot of degrading things about you. Do not fall for it, he wants a rise – it will help his case. Just stay calm and sit there, don't fidget or write anything down. Okay?" I ball my hands into fists trying to restrain the urge to reach out and adjust his jacket.

"Got it. You find out about Jake?" His blue eyes stare into mine, his handsome face worried.

"Yeah. Amy reached out, he got home safe. He's been medically discharged from the military after the AED explosion."

Jay lets out a sign and closes his eyes, before nodding gently. His eyes open and there are unshed tears that pull on my heart strings.

"What?" I roll my eyes at the question thrown from behind me, as my assistant inserts herself into the conversation.

"Jay asked me to check in on an army buddy of his, keep him updated." I shrug softly, a hint of a smile on my lips.

"Well, the hearings about to start. We need to go."

"I'll meet you up there Kim." Kim sighs before leaving the room and I look back at Jay, his nervousness shining bright in his kind eyes.

"How are you?" My hands lose their battle and reach up to readjust his tie, my fingers brush his warm neck and I feel his breath against my hands.

"Terrified. I can run into a firefight, be tortured… no problem. But going out there and facing those charges? I'm terrified." Every cell in my body wants me to pull him into a hug and hold him so close that all his problems disappear. But instead I summon all the professionalism I have and keep our bodies apart.

"I've got this." Jay nods once at my words and the guards take him away.

"I guess I'll see you up there." He flashes me a small smile and I watch him be taken away.

* * *

 _Flashback – Four Months Ago_

" _Thank you." Jay Halstead whispers to the prison guard who takes his cuffs off and he stands by the table to shake my hand before taking a seat._

 _I follow his example momentarily floored by his politeness and manners, I'll come to find out I shouldn't be._

" _Mr Halstead, I'm Erin Lindsay your attorney. Anything we talk about is covered under attorney client privilege." I clasp my hands, getting straight down to business._

" _Please, call me Jay." He flashes me a smile but it doesn't reach his eyes._

" _I hear you're the best." He continues after a few moments silence._

" _That's what they say."_

" _Well my father certainly picked well then didn't he."_

" _He must care for you." Jay lets out a bitter laugh._

" _He cares for himself and his reputation. He hasn't seen me once, my brother came for less than five minutes telling me to keep my mouth shut and wait for the lawyer to arrive." The hurt is obvious in his damaged blue gaze._

" _How are you holding up?" I'm shocked as the words fall from my mouth but there is something different about this guy._

" _Well, I've just been arrested for murder… so could be better. On the bright side I'm getting free meals and accommodation…" Jay smirks at me, some light reaching his eyes._

" _Don't forget about the health care." Jay chuckles and I follow, enjoying the grove we have found._

" _Alright, down to business. The DA is trying to make a name for himself, you're the son of a high profile doctor in this city that comes from money. He wants this win. Be prepared for a few months in jail until we can get a bond hearing. He wants to wear you down to take a plea deal."_

" _I'm not taking any deals. I didn't do this." Generally, I don't form an opinion this early if a client is guilty, in fact I try not to focus on that at all. I instead choose to focus on any injustice in the process or in the law that I can fight and fix._

 _Staring into Jay's warm eyes I immediately know he's telling the truth._

" _We need to be prepared for what's coming at trial… I'm going to try and get this witness confession thrown out but if that doesn't work trial is going to be very risky. I need you to know that." I'm very serious, my hazel eyes boring into his._

" _I never confessed to anything, to anyone. The witness is lying."_

" _They are going to bring up your confirmed kills to show that you have no problem taking lives." I continue on, voice deflecting any personal feelings wishing to arise. I'm good at pretending I don't care._

" _I took those lives fighting for my country, I will answer for every one of them when I meet my maker. There are some that haunt me to this day but I was serving my country. I came back screwed up after my second tour. I did not enjoy taking lives and I certainly didn't murder my girlfriend when I was seventeen."_

 _Tears find my eyes at the pain in his tone and the terror displayed on his face, I clear my throat and look away._

" _Do you have some army buddies that would be character witnesses?" Jay nods stiffly and I can't help but reach across the table and lay my hand over his, which are clasp together tightly._

 _The gratitude on his face at this human contact melts my heart and I keep it there until we finish._

* * *

Present Day

"My father didn't even come."

"I'm sorry Jay." My hand finds his arm in comfort, my hand itching to wrap around his.

"He doesn't care if I get sent away for this."

"He's paying your legal fees. I'm the best defense attorney in Chicago." My voice is soft, knowing my words give him no comfort.

"Don't be fooled, he just doesn't want his precious name tainted."

I look behind me and feel anger that no one from his family is here to support Jay, his mother has passed but the other family members have no such excuse.

There are a few ranger buddies sitting in the crowd, offering their silent support to their friend.

"Your honor, twelve years ago Allie Johnson was murdered in Lincoln Park. The autopsy revealed her cause of death was blunt force trauma to the back of the head. Her boyfriend, the defendant was the last person seen with her on the night of the incident and he admits to having gotten into a fight with her on the night in question." I take a deep breath as I watch Jay's hands ball into fists listening to the DA.

"I regret that the case went cold however new evidence has come to light, in the form of Mr Hallstead's high school roommate whose testimony will reveal Mr Halstead confessed to murdering Miss Johnson. We submit that the defendant not be released on bail. His family has significant resources. He also has extensive knowledge of going undercover and tactical advantages if he wishes to disappear."

"Skills he received fighting for his country, he selflessly risked his life fighting for America." I defend from my seat.

"This all makes him a flight risk and a danger to society."

"Really? In my book it just makes him a hero." I stand up to plead our case.

"Your honor Mr Halstead has spent four months in jail waiting for the DA to make their case, Mr Halstead never confessed anything to this witness and in court we will show him to be an unreliable witness. In the meantime we ask for the defendant to be released on bail, there is no physical evidence tying him to this murder, not on the body, at the crime scene or on the murder weapon that was tested at the time of the murder. It only had Allie Johnsons blood on it."

"There have been significant advances in forensic science." I struggle to fight an eye roll.

"Which would be fine, except your department lost the murder weapon in the last twelve years. Your honor, this tragedy is being compounded by the fact they are now accusing an innocent man with no evidence after all this time."

"I agree. Bail is set at one million dollars. Court dismissed." I smile as the judge bangs her gavel and turn to share a smile with Jay.

* * *

"Lindsay." I roll my eyes at the predictability that is the DA.

"I can offer a plea deal. Manslaughter, minimum sentence three years." I scoff in reply and keep walking.

"Take it or leave it."

"Leave it. Your case is shit and you know it." I yell over my shoulder.

"You have forty eight hours to decide."

* * *

 _Flashback – Three months ago_

" _Thank you." Jay nods to the guard who takes his cuffs off. He's moving stiffly and is nursing a black eye._

 _He's compensating for the right hand side of his body when he sits down and releases a grunt of pain._

" _What happened?" I get up and race around to Jay's side of the table, over our many visits in the last month I've grown attached to this client in a way I shouldn't._

" _Nothing, I'm fine. I've had worse injuries."_

" _I don't care if you have had worse. Who did this? Prisoners or guards?" Anger is coursing through my body._

" _Word got around that I served overseas… and that I was on my way to becoming a cop. While I haven't put any of them away they were looking for a new punching bag."_

" _I'm going to have you moved into protective custody." My tone is fierce, almost as strong as my instincts to protect this man at all costs._

" _No, I'm fine."_

" _Do you want to be killed?" The hysteria in my voice cannot be missed and Jay does a double take._

" _I won't be. I can handle myself. I promise." There's a softness to his voice as he promises me, his blue eyes shining in a way I know he's speaking the truth._

" _If this happens again, or gets worse I'm having you moved." He searches my hazel eyes before nodding at me once, sensing my stubbornness._

 **A/N: Thoughts? Would love to know if you want to read more.  
**

 **Yes, I'll update my other stories too.**

 **Review :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you for the reviews! Can you believe I've been sitting on this story for a while now, and never wanted to write it...**

 **According to my outline it was going to be three chapters but I've fallen in love with it so I'm going to see how much I can stretch it out. Most of this chapter was never in my outline.**

 **Enjoy :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Part Two

"Hey. Let gets you home." Jay stops at the bottom steps and stares into the night, breathing in free air and looking out to the beautiful city of Chicago.

"They offered a plea, better than I expected. Manslaughter, three years but I could probably get you out after two." I launch into work, trying to pull my attention away from the look of freedom he's wearing. The way his smile is speaking to my own lips and pulling them up in return.

"Erin, please. Stop." I'm about to hail a cab when Jay's desperate voice reaches my ears. I turn around slowly and take him in, his jeans and navy sports jacket.

"It's been four months, I just need a break about all this case talk. Please. One night." I nod gently at him.

"Of course. Lets go." I start walking down the street and Jay follows confused.

"Where are we going?"

"It's been four months, you deserve real food." I send him a side glance, unable to hide my smile.

"I'd settle for a burger, fries and a strawberry milkshake." He tells me with a chuckle.

* * *

"So where did you grow up?" Jay asks as we sit by the water eating our burger and fries.

"Here." I shrug, taking a sip of my milkshake.

"Did you go to law school here?" He presses and slides closer on the bench.

I send Jay a sideways glance.

"What? You don't like talking about yourself, do you?" His hands moves up to sweep some of my hair back, we pause freeze in the moment.

My heart is racing, cheek wishing to seek comfort in his strong palm. Instead I clear my throat and Jay drops his hand, grabbing some fries.

"I'm not that interesting. Work is my life." I shrug, the warm tingle on my cheek from his fingertips leaving me feeling cold now that he's pulled away.

"Which brings me to, why did you become a defense attorney?" I shrug at Jay's question before turning to meet his eyes. His intense blue eyes knock the breath out of me and for a moment I forget where we are.

Who we are.

"I don't like seeing injustice. I hate seeing people just standing by and watching it happen. People who can't or won't fight back, need someone to do this for them. I fight for people who can't and I do it like I wish someone did it for me. Injustice makes me angry." I take some deep breaths completely shocked to my core I revealed so much.

"Sorry, now I'm ranting." I mutter distractedly, unsure why I've said so much. I don't think I've ever told anyone the real reason; a flippant or sarcastic reply is my trademark.

"Wished people would fight for you?" Jay asks softly, taking my hand.

"Don't Jay." I whisper and pull away, missing him already.

"Okay, we don't have to talk about it." Someone his tone conveys his respect of my privacy and the desire to know everything about me.

"Why did you serve?" I ask quietly, desperately wanting to know everything about this man.

"I would give up my freedom, my life… so others could have theirs. I too wanted to fight injustice. I just went about mine differently." I feel a strong sense of proudness, it confuses me briefly before I choose to switch my focus to his father.

I'm unsure why his father wouldn't feel the same proudness about his strong and selfless son.

"Were you going to deploy again?" I ask quietly.

"No. My mum had cancer so I was here for her. I was just accepted into the Chicago Police Academy when I was arrested for murder. If this charge doesn't go away that won't ever happen. It's why I won't take the plea." It's the first time tonight he's wanted to talk about it.

"Jay. If we can get this witness confession thrown out then going to trial will be a piece of cake… if they don't drop the case that is. But if we can't, it's a risk and you could end up with life in prison. Please, trust me on this." I turn to face him.

"I appreciate all your help Erin but I can't go around the rest of my life with people thinking I'm a murderer."

"This is your life Jay. Please, think about this." Fear grips my chest, never having felt this before.

"I have."

" _Life_. In prison. You remember what it was like… what they did to you in there." Images of Jay bruised and beaten flash through my mind, my eyes sting with tears I refuse to shed.

"It's no life out here, people thinking I would murder someone. Murder _Allie_."

"Jay…"

"You know, you've never asked me." He catches me off guard.

"What?" I whisper not liking where the conversation is going.

"If I did this." His blue eyes don't let my hazel eyes escape his gaze.

"I'm a defense attorney, we don't ask. We don't need to know."

"It's hard family and friends thinking I did this… but I have to be honest and admit to myself, that all that doesn't matter as much to me as _you_ believing I'm innocent." His tone is begging as he once again slides closer, his warm body so close to mine.

"Jay." I shake my head, as his blue eyes drill into mine. All I can imagine is if I close the distance between us I can taste what it would be like to mix his strawberry milkshake with my chocolate.

"You feel it too don't you?" Jay asks inching closer to my lips.

"Jay. This is common; you've bonded with me. It's natural with all the time we've spent together preparing and add in that you've been cut off from the world. It will pass."

"No, it won't. It's okay. I'll convince you." Jay turns back to the beautiful city in front of him and I try to quiet my beating heart.

* * *

 _Flashback – 2 months, 3 weeks ago_

 _I tap my foot impatiently as I wait for them to bring Jay from his cell; I begin pacing when I realize my breathing has slowed in anticipation._

" _Should I be worried?"_

" _Huh?" I spin around suddenly at the sound of his amused voice._

 _He raises an eyebrow as the guards remove his handcuffs, a sexy smirk is playing across his kissable lips._

 _He makes sure to pull his gaze from me to thank the guards before his attention finds me again._

 _I clear my throat at my thoughts, giving myself an internal pep talk about professional standards and ethics where clients are involved._

 _A frown finds my lips when I realize his title of accused murderer isn't a reason to stop those thoughts in their tracks._

" _The pacing. Don't tell me… they cancelled your favourite show." I crack a smirk as he folds his arms across his chest._

 _My eyes follow his muscles, appreciating the fact he must still be working out._

" _Oh please. Does it look like I have time for TV?" I raise an eyebrow playfully._

" _I don't really know Erin Lindsay yet."_

" _Yet?" I smirk, he chuckles before leaning close._

" _Yet." He confirms before taking a seat._

" _How do you do it?" I can't help myself from asking._

" _What?"_

" _The humor… your attitude. This place breaks people."_

" _This is nothing compared to what I faced overseas." The confession hangs there between us, sucking any humor from the room._

" _So, the pacing?" He finally asks, hands clasped together and his back rigid._

" _I was worried about you." My voice is quiet, the honesty surprising myself._

" _You were?" His blue eyes show happiness at someone showing they care; I take a seat across from him._

" _After our last meeting, I was worried what state you'd be in. After all, can't have them hurting your pretty face." He chuckles, allowing for some humor to be resurrected in the space between us._

" _Aw, you care."_

" _Don't let it go to your head… but seriously. How are you?"_

" _I'm okay." I stare into his eyes, trying to decide if I believe him._

" _If that changes, you need to let me know."_

" _I can take care of myself."_

" _Very well. Okay, so I want to go through the night Allie was murdered."_

" _Again?" Jay drops his head into his hands._

" _Yes, again. Get use to it. This night will be re told over and over, you need to make sure you don't change anything from your version of events. A slight deviation… or a too rehearsed answer can ruin you on the stand."_

" _Right. Don't change it… but don't say it the same." Jay raises an eyebrow at me, cheeks against his hands as he leans his elbows on the table._

" _Exactly."_

" _You make it sound like it's completely normal. How do I do that?" He closes his eyes softly, for a brief moment I worry he's given up._

" _You listen to me, you take my advice and you do everything I say. I'm here for you."_

" _Do you think I did it?"_

" _What?" I heard every word of his question, but I hope in the time it takes for him to repeat it I've thought of a way to escape._

 _Each time he's been close to asking or asked in the last five weeks I've managed to escape without an answer._

" _You have dodged this question for over a month. I want to know. Do you think I did it?"_

* * *

"Thank you for tonight." The sound of the indicator fills the silence between our words.

"You're welcome." My voice is quiet, caught up in a whirlwind from Jay's promise tonight and a flash of past memories where he's tried desperately to get me to believe his innocence.

"And for not making me catch a cab." He chuckles at me.

"Least I could do."

"You've done more than your job description I'm sure." I bite my lip hard, holding back the words I'd like to say.

 _I'd like to do a whole lot more than my job description._

"It's okay. I've spoken with your father and he's been paying your rent… so your apartment should be as you left it."

"Just dusty, cold, empty and lonely." There's something in his voice and my earlier desire that leads to my next offer.

"Would you like me to come up?"

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, if you need me to check for the bogeyman or something." His laugh is magical and makes my stomach flutter with what I can only assume is butterflies.

"Please, if you would. I'll even find some old scotch I must have lying around." His promise sounds like heaven falling from his lips.

"You better. That's exactly how I take my payments."

"Really. I thought it would be crisp hundred dollar bills."

"Please. My hourly billable is so much more than that." I laugh, sending him a wink.

"I do hope you are charging my father for every moment you spend with me."

"You better believe it." I switch the car off before climbing out and following Jay into the building.

Jay pauses outside his door for a moment, staring at the key in his hand.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. Just can't believe I'm finally back home."

"I'm going to do everything I can to keep you here." My tone is fierce, meaning every word of my promise.

"I know. Thank you. For everything." I nod, my heart rate accelerating as he leans closer.

My back is trapped against the wall, his toned stomach blocking my escape as his scent invades my senses, taking my body hostage.

I moan as I feel his warm breath against my lips, anticipation fills my belly; a kiss only seconds away.

 **A/N: I know, I know. Mean.**

 **Almost as mean as making you wait for an update on Fate.**

 **To be fair, I'm currently re reading it. I just need to be inspired and pick up where I left off. Promise a lot more is coming. ;)**

 **I'll try and finish "Begging for One Day" tomorrow... :)**

 **P.S. It's 2am... I'm sorry for the mistakes.**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hey all! So if you follow me on twitter you'll know I took a break from writing. Just not coping at the moment but trying to get back into it. :)**

 **What actually helped me strangely enough (especially in the middle of CPD filming again & Sophia not coming back) was TWD - how I just watched this show beats me. It's amazing lol**

 **I actually started a crossover OTH/ TWD fic with Brooke and Spencer (Austin's character) because I'm having Brulian feels at the moment. lol It's different to what I generally write... but I also wanted to do a Linstead one, but with all CPD characters...**

 **Cuz I was watching the show and I'm like, the only thing that would make this better is Jesse and Sophia in the show lol**

Reasonable Doubt – Part 3

" _I know. Thank you. For everything." I nod, my heart rate accelerating as he leans closer._

 _My back is trapped against the wall, his toned stomach blocking my escape as his scent invades my senses, taking my body hostage._

 _I moan as I feel his warm breath against my lips, anticipation fills my belly; a kiss only seconds away._

My eyes flutter close as I arch my head back, encouraging his lips to mine. We're so consumed in this moment that we tune the world out so only we exist.

"Jay, you're home!" We pull apart hastily at the sound of the loud voice, my gaze dropping to my feet.

I curse internally at the interruption; Jay's lips so close to mine, about to fulfill my dreams and fantasy's.

My gaze is hard as I bring it up to the middle-aged lady standing by an apartment door across the hall, beaming at Jay.

I shake my head clearing my thoughts, my hands find Jay's chest as I push him back firmly needing the create distance between us.

Once his scent is no longer swirling around me and holding me in a lusty haze, I find gratitude I didn't cross this line with a client.

I silently and patiently stand through their warm and pleasant exchange, noting again what a wonderful man he is and how anyone who knows him, never doubts his innocence.

"I should go." I tuck some hair behind my ear as he turns back to me.

"No, please don't."

"We shouldn't do this." I motion between us.

"We _can't_ do this." I walk backwards, not breaking eye contact with him.

"Okay. We can't. But you _can_ come in for a drink can't you?" I take in his hopeful smile, finding a way to say no.

"Jay…"

"No strings. Just a drink." Silence surrounds us as I think over his offer.

"You did promise to check for the bogeyman."

"I suppose I did. A promise is a promise." I return his smirk, admiring the spark in his eyes that fades too often and too quickly.

I nod as he finally slides his key in the lock and pushes open the door, I watch him take in the apartment and see tension melt away as he comes home.

"Huh. Someone covered the furniture up." He runs his hand along the white sheet covering the couch, before shrugging and throwing his keys on the kitchen bench.

I close the door, flicking the lock and following him to the kitchen.

"Scotch?" I ask coyly, with a raised brow.

"You're impatient."

"Time is money."

"Certainly is for you." He smirks, sending a playful wink my way.

"Being a lawyer is a good game. We charge to return a phone call, to send an email…"

"Maybe I should call you more, run my account up for my old man."

"He can't be all bad; looks like he took care of this place." Jay motions towards his dead plant sending me a look that says _really_.

"Okay, not the living things, but he covered up the furniture." I shrug before walking around and busying myself pulling the white covers off.

Jay chuckles as I hear the distinct clinking of glasses in the kitchen and the splashing of liquid.

"For you."

"Thank you." I spin around to take the offered glass, noticing how close Jay's body is to mine. The way his frame is trapping me against the back of the couch, that same anticipation making its presence known in my belly.

"Have I told you how amazing you are?" I raise an eyebrow up at him in question, a spark in my eyes as I raise the glass to my lips and take a long sip.

The warm burn makes it way into my belly, mixing with the want and leaving my body humming in need.

"I don't think you have. Certainly not enough."

"Well you are." I bite my lip at him, taking another gulp of liquid courage starting to question my ethics, when I'm standing so close to this man and his bed not much further away.

"You're also an exceptional liar." I raise an eyebrow, unsure where this is going.

"I'm good at crafting a narrative and selling it like the truth." I finally allow, another smirk covering my face.

"That's lawyer double talk for lying."

"Basically, yeah." He chuckles at me before bringing up a piece of paper.

"So my dad took care of my apartment?" My forehead creases in a confused frown before I read the slip of paper in his hands.

"You're name is on this invoice." He presses into the silence.

"You would have made one hell of a cop." I bite out sarcastically.

"Don't deflect. Why?"

"I just arranged for someone to cover up the furniture Jay, it's not a big deal." My shoulders rise in a shrug, wishing for a way out.

"There's an eviction letter in the kitchen too."

"Fuck. Stupid god damn intern." Jay blinks shocked at me.

"Okay, I got the furniture covered for you… and they said there was an eviction letter taped to your door. Your dad didn't care… so I just…" I trail off unsure how we ended up here.

"Paid my rent? Are you crazy?"

"I'm over charging your asshole of a father, it's all good."

"You didn't have to do this. You certainly didn't have to arrange any of this." He indicates to the pile of white covers sitting in the corner.

"Well I couldn't have _that_ couch ruined by dust." I try for humor to distract the conversation.

"That's a nice couch." He replies indignantly.

"Sure." I deadpan.

"What's wrong with it?"

"Have you looked at it?" I fire back, trying to hold in a giggle.

"I'm a function over form man." My battle with the giggle is lost.

"What does that even mean?"

"I mean if it's comfy I don't care what it looks like." I watch his lips find the glass as he takes a slow sip.

"Why can't a couch have both?"

"Haven't found one." He shrugs at me simply.

"Mine has both." I lick my lips, raising the glass to my lips again.

"Maybe we should test it out."

"Test out the _function_?" I tilt my head, eyes full of lust and the promise of sexual release.

"I hope we're talking about the same thing." Jay's warm breath smells of scotch as he leans down to whisper.

My cell phone rings loudly, disrupting the mood and I laugh as Jay grumbles to himself as I push his warm body from mine.

I rummage through my bag and pull out my phone, pressing accept.

"I have to take this. Put your sheets on to wash, fresh sheets always lead to a better nights sleep. And we have a big day tomorrow." Before he can protest, the phone is against my ear and I walk into the kitchen to talk privately.

"Sorry, work." I apologise as I exit the kitchen over ten minutes later.

"You work too much."

"Probably. But you'll know what that's like when you become a cop." He smiles sincerely over at me.

"Hopefully."

"Speaking of, my office tomorrow okay? If you want to proceed to trail than I'm going to show you what it's like. I'm not going to go easy on you, I have to prepare you for it." Seriousness takes over my tone as I stare him down.

"What does that entail?"

"For one. Tough interrogations." He rubs his hand across his forehead before taking my glass from my hand and heading to the kitchen for a re fill.

I fall back onto the couch exhausted, eyes closing briefly while I wait for his return.

The couch settles beneath me when he sits, our arms brushing as I reach over for my glass.

Jay turns the TV on to fill the silence stretching between us.

The peaceful quiet of watching TV is a nice change of pace, I find something comforting from having his arm resting against mine and listening to his soft breathing.

"Former U.S. Army Ranger Jay Halstead was awarded bail today set at one million dollars, he is set to face trail for the alleged murder of his high school girlfriend Allie Johnson."

"Jay. Don't." I try to reach for the remote, the look on his face causing a pain in my chest.

"I have to." He whispers as he pulls the remote further from me, I settle instead to rest my hand on his arm in support.

"Oh he did it. Absolutely, the rich think they can get away with anything." I watch Jay's jaw tighten, the grip on his glass also strong.

"I don't see it. He served this country, they have no evidence… he seems like a nice guy." I smile softly as I watch another Chicago citizen questioned on the street.

"I don't know if he did it, but maybe he did it and liked killing so much he went and made a career out of it." I slam my glass on his table harshly before pushing up and going to unplug the TV from the wall.

"They're fucking idiots Jay. They don't know you; they don't know what they're talking about. Don't let it get to you."

"Those are kinds of people that will make up my jury. They are the ones poisoning the jury members now without knowing it." Jay slumps back onto the couch, his voice void of any emotion.

"I'm good at voir dire, I'll get the right jury members."

"Yeah."

"Are you reconsidering taking the plea?"

"No. That's not an option." His tone is fierce again, reminding me of the man who wants to fight for his freedom.

"Okay, so we fight." I slowly make my way back to the couch, sitting down and picking up my scotch to finish it in one big gulp.

"Why won't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" I question confused.

"If you think I did this."

"Jay…" I look away briefly, eyes closing in dislike of this conversation.

"How are you supposed to convince a jury if you don't believe I'm innocent yourself?" His voice is harsh, his eyes pleading with me.

"Defense attorneys don't ask, that's not our job Jay. I've never once asked a client, I've never once formed an opinion and shared it. I don't need to believe your innocent to win."

"But _do_ you believe me?" I shake my head, refusing to answer.

"Just tell me. Do you think I'm guilty of her murder or not?" My silence is my defiant answer, not daring open my mouth in reply to his loaded question.

His body finally slumps in defeat, head turning away from me as I sigh in relief at having escaped finding an answer.

"You know I'd be here for free… you're a friend." The scotch has loosened my lips, a confession springing free.

"I need one." His simple answer stirs guilt in me for not answering the one question he can't seem to let go of.

"You have me."

"Good, I need you." Our eyes are locked, his words hanging between us and begging for more to be said.

I nod once before looking down at the empty glass in my hands like a coward.

 **A/N: So I never promised smut... sorry to those reviewers lol I am a tease, but if you want this story longer they don't get together so quick. Gotta build that tension ;) If you want to get there quicker just need to leave me a review with your thoughts :)**

 **Please do let me know your thoughts and I'll see what I can do update wise.**

 **Hope you're all well :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for your lovely reviews, I love hearing your thoughts on the story and what you hope to see :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Four

Erin POV

"You ready for this?" I question, eyes not lifting from the paperwork in front of me when I hear Jay enter my office.

"How did you even know I was here?"

"It's my job to know everything." I smirk, eyes meeting his as I lean back in my chair.

"No, really." He crosses his arms, lazily smile on his face.

"My assistant buzzed me while you were signing in, take a seat." He nods before moving forward to place a coffee in front of me, a paper bag by its side.

He smirks as I raise an eyebrow, taking a look inside happily.

"How'd you know?" I sigh after taking a long sip, letting the caramel scent indulge my cravings.

"I can find out things too. Apparently this has something to do with a ritual before court." He lifts one shoulder in a shrug.

"It does. Chocolate muffin and caramel latte. Really, I just love them." I wink at him, before internally cursing myself.

I remind myself that I'm at work, knowing I need to push aside the feelings that are fluttering around since our night together last night. A night where the lines between our professional and personal relationship were blurred.

The warm scotch, his hot breath blowing against my lips and the desperation in his eyes while he begged for his innocence.

"You ready to get started?"

"Guess so." I take one last sip of my coffee before grabbing my file and standing, I walk around the desk and lean back leveling Jay with a serious look.

"Where were you on March 17th 2005?"

"Chicago." I narrow my eyes at his smirk.

"Mr Halstead, where specifically. No games."

"Well, I was at home when I woke up… went to the gym, then school-"

"Jay, it's time to be serious." I break persona to jolt his head in the game.

"You asked a vague question." He shrugs again, an air of charming arrogance surrounding him.

"I did. As a test, you failed." I cross my arms, eyes and posture both letting him know how serious I am.

"Failed? How? You know you wanted to smile." He smirks at me, trying to elicit a smile.

"You were being a smart ass… there is no place for a smart mouth up there on the stand. You hear me? That will not carry favor with the jury; you'll turn them off. Just some rich daddy's boy who got everything he wanted in life, and is too caviler to care he's on trial for murder. Because his dad is buying his freedom." I slam my files on my table, leaning close to him.

"Do you want that? Because tell me right now, and I won't put you on the stand."

"You said I'd have to if we go to trail."

"If you want to win." I fire back, watching his conflicted eyes.

"You're the expert."

"I am."

"Do you believe all that?" He looks down at his hands, eyes avoiding me.

"No, but I told you I would be tough on you. I need to prepare you. This is your life… and we're fighting for it. It won't be easy."

"Okay, go again." He sighs, before taking a deep breath.

"Where were you the night of March 17th 2005?"

"I was at a party in a townhouse near Lincoln Park." Jay's eyes find mine, serious and honest.

"Who was with you?"

"There must have been fifty people there, I went with my girlfriend."

"Allie Johnson?"

"Yes."

"Did you leave together as well?"

"No."

"Why?"

"We got into a fight." I watch him clench his jaw, trying to keep his emotions at bay.

"About what?"

"Something stupid." My raised eyebrow is all Jay requires to continue.

"I told her I was joining the rangers after I graduated. I'd been keeping it from her."

"Why did you want to serve?"

"Can that be asked?" He asks after a moment.

"If they're good at their job they'll object. But I'm better… they bought up your military experience in the bond hearing. They'll bring it up again, framing you as someone who has taken life before. Therefore, they'll create the relevance for us to talk about it… for the jury to see the good man you are." He nods impressed as I raise an eyebrow, waiting on his answer.

"To serve my country with honor, to escape the clutches of my father and his money… and because I wanted to do something good with my life. Full of purpose."

"Did the fight get physical that night?" I open the file on my desk, glancing at my notes.

" _No_. I never hurt her."

"You had a cuts on your hand when you were questions by the police the next day, how did you get them?" I watch him rub his hands, perhaps lost in the memory of whirlwind events that followed Allie's murder.

"The party got out of hand, we had to clean up a broken window and I cut myself."

"Did you follow Allie when she left the party alone?" I press into the next question without trepidation, expecting nothing but his usual honesty.

"No." My eyes shut briefly.

"We have several witnesses stating you left the party not long after Allie, eventually returning alone."

His eyes are wide and shocked as he stutters for his next words.

A mantra rings out through my ears, trying to get lost in it.

 _He's just a client, guilty or not._

"We have investigators Jay. If we found this out, the prosecutor has it too."

"It was cold and dark out, I wanted to check on her… make it right. But we just got into a worst fight in the park." His eyes are haunted, torture hiding in the depth of his blue gaze.

"The same park she was found murdered?" My eyes lock with his, refusing to look away even when I feel my heart constrict at the sight before me.

"Yes."

"Witnesses say you were gone over an hour. Why?" My tone is abrupt, forcing an answer the way I'll soon be watching the prosecutor do.

"We fought, I told you."

"You fought, it got out of hand, and then you killed her." My voice is powerful and unbreakable, my emotions taking a back seat in the preparation.

"No!"

"You lied in your statement. You said you never saw her again after the house. Why did you lie then?"

He shrugs, struggling with his words.

"Why were you missing over an hour?" I press, not letting him escape, ignoring the signs he needs a break.

Knowing there won't be a break when we go to court.

"Because I was upset!" I finch at the pitch of his tone.

"She was my first serious girlfriend… we broke up and I cried. I felt that was shameful as a seventeen year old boy so I waited until I calmed down to go back to the party."

I let the silence sit between us, watching Jay struggle with his emotions and trying to force myself to continue.

"Why did you lie?"

"Because it's my fault." His eyes are full of shame as he looks at me.

"I left her alone and _alive_ in that park… and the next morning she was dead. I shouldn't have left her alone… but I didn't want to cry in front of her. If I did… maybe she'd be alive. Because I would have seen she got home safely."

"Jay." I whisper, abandoning my professionalism in order to comfort him.

"It's not your fault." I perch on the chair next to him, hand in his, offering support.

His blue eyes find mine, coated in tears as he stares at me.

My thumb runs over his knuckles soothingly as I realise that perhaps I've began slipping on the professionalism and one of my golden rules;

 _Never form an opinion on if a client is guilty, and never share it._

"Has the confession not been thrown out?" Jay finally asks, perhaps sensing my terror at the realization.

"I've had my investigators on it and they can't find anything on this guy. No secrets, nothing illegal. He has no reason to lie."

"He _is_ lying."

"We can't prove that. We need to substantiate that to discredit his testimony… the plea is your best bet. And it's minimal time because they don't have the murder weapon." Jay's shaking his head before I can even ask the question again.

"Jay, one last time, please consider the plea deal."

"No."

"Jay-"

"I said no Erin." I bite my lip, staring him down never had so much trouble getting a client to take my advice before.

"Jay, the won't throw the confession out. Going to trail is too risky; you need to take the plea. They are going to destroy you on the stand." I continue to push, not ready to let this go until I'm sure he won't change his mind.

"Why?"

"Because it all doesn't look good. It won't sit right with the jury. You were seen with your girlfriend on the night in question fighting, you had cuts on your hands, you left a sixteen year old girl alone in the park. They won't understand."

"She had just broken up with me, I was hurt…. I was crying and I was ashamed of it. I was seventeen… crying seemed weak to me so I left. I have regretted it every night since." I can't deny the honestly and regret in his voice and displayed on his face.

"Please don't give up on me Erin." His whispered words make my stomach twist in pain.

"I won't. You're the client, but I need you to understand you could get life in prison."

"I don't care. I'm innocent. I need to take this risk."

"Okay, I'll dig deeper. See if I can find something on the witness, he must have ulterior motives to come forward with this fake confession."

* * *

 _Flashback – Two months ago_

" _Thank you." I look up when I hear Jay's word; it's how every session starts. He thanks the guards for taking his cuffs off._

" _Jay." I gasp as I jump up and go around to help him sit._

" _It's still happening, isn't it?" I resist the urge to put my hands on my hips, because they are busy cradling his face and tracing the bruises there._

" _I'm fine." He winces as he moves and I suspect he's got broken ribs._

" _You aren't fine. I'm having you moved." Jay shakes his head, scruff against my soft hands._

" _No, don't."_

" _Jay, I can't watch you in pain like this. I can't stand seeing it. Please, let me have you moved." My eyes are begging his and something shifts in his gaze._

" _Okay. For you."_

" _Thank you."_

 _I shut off the part of my brain telling me I'm falling for this blue-eyed man; I'm just concerned for his safety._

 _It's pointless; I know I'm lying to myself._

* * *

"Erin, hey. Come in. You want a beer?" I shake my head as I enter Jay's apartment, watching as he walks towards the kitchen.

"Did you turn the plea down?" He asks as he busies himself in the kitchen.

"I didn't get the chance, they pulled it." My hands are gripping my bag tightly, stomach in knots.

"Why?" Jay stops what he's doing, eyes seeking mine out.

"They found the murder weapon."

 **A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Things are gonna go down next few chapters... excitement will pick up ;) And maybe some more of that sexual tension I've been building in earlier chapters ;) lol**

 **Please review and I'll update as soon as I can :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thank you for all the support for this story, it's wrapping up! :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Five

Erin POV

"So, uh do you want a drink?"

"Jay, did you hear me? They found the murder weapon." My voice has a sense of urgency as I follow him into the cramped kitchen, trying to pull his attention from getting me a drink.

"I heard."

"They pulled the plea. Why Jay?"

"I don't know; you're the lawyer. Isn't that what my father is paying you to figure out?" The sarcastic bite in his tone is jarring, so different to his usual temperament.

"You tell me. What's on that murder weapon? Why are they so sure?" His blue eyes flicker in hurt and betrayal, causing me to shift awkwardly on my feet.

"I didn't do this Erin." I clear my throat, not wishing to once be drawn into this debate.

"Yeah, I'll take that drink." I turn and walk towards the living area.

"What does this mean?"

"It means we're going to trial."

"Be straight with me, what am I looking at?"

"Jay, you're looking at a murder trial with a murder weapon and a witness swearing you admitted to the crime. A witness I haven't been able to discredit in anyway yet."

"That bad huh?" There's a fleck of humor to his tone, tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Unless…"

"What?"

"I get the murder weapon tossed."

"How would you do that?"

"It broke the chain of custody…" I stare down at the glass in my hand, mind working a million steps ahead.

"Hey, don't feel so pressured. It's just my life in your very capable hands." The familiar spark is back in his blue eyes.

"Oh, no pressure at all." I joke back, loving the way he can lighten my mood with just a few words.

"I'm in for more grueling days like today aren't I?"

"Worse."

"Fantastic." His eyes move to focus behind me; I turn slowly to see news coverage on his case.

"Stop. Why do you insist on torturing yourself?"

"I shouldn't have let her go off alone that night. She didn't deserve that."

"Neither do you. You lost someone you love that night, and now this is just…"

"A nightmare."

"Yeah." I move to turn the TV off when Jay's hand stops mine.

"What?" My eyes catch sight of his father on the TV screen, thumb already turning the volume up.

"Do you still stand by your sons innocence?" My heart is in my stomach as I wait for his answer.

"It comes with great sorrow to stand before you all, and say that I was wrong. I can't apologize enough to Miss Johnson's family… I'll be withdrawing funds for his legal team. I want there to be justice… whatever the cost." I blink in shock at the TV, unable to process the emotions playing inside me.

"Damn it." The shattering of glass snaps my attention to a distressed Jay, my eyes watch the liquid drip down the wall.

My chest is rising and falling rapidly as I look to the blood in his hands.

"Jay." I whisper as I close the distance between us, cradling his hand between us.

"I'm fine." He pulls away and walks towards his bedroom.

"Jay." I call out softly as I follow slowly, finding him in his bathroom.

His white shirt is on the floor, red blood a stark contrast.

"Oh my god." My eyes gloss over with tears, unable to move from the angry scars tearing up his muscled back.

I'm slow as I close the distance between us, worried I'll break the moment and he'll retreat.

"Who?" My fingers are soft on his shoulder, raking over his back and feeling him tense before me.

"Did your father do that?"

"No." Jay turns slowly, our bodies pressed together and our noses brushing.

"But he did hit you."

"He did." Anger bubbles in my chest, hate in my veins.

"Military?" I question again, feeling the tension between us.

His blue eyes are conflicted as he stares deep into my gaze; before finally he nods once.

"I'm so sorry."

"I told you I could handle my time in jail." He shrugs softly.

"But you shouldn't have had to. I couldn't watch it anymore." I blink away some tears, swallowing heavily.

"Why?"

"I'm not ready to admit it. Please don't make me…" Tears slip down my cheeks, his hands come up to cup my cheeks and brush the salty tears away.

"Why aren't you leaving? My father fired you."

"I'm not going anywhere." My tone is fierce, eyes only confirming my position.

"Promise?"

"Promise. We're in this together."

* * *

"So we got fired."

"We did." I don't look up from my laptop at Hank's gravely voice.

"Loser case anyway."

"I'm not dropping it." I roll my neck, losing the tension before focusing back on my arguments for court today.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm taking it pro bono."

"Is there something you want to tell me?"

"No." I finally look up, staring Hank down and not giving an inch.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" My blood runs cold at the voice of Jay's father.

"Supporting your son. You?"

"I fired you. You're services are no longer required."

"You're right. You did… so now I don't answer to you. This is my case, and by the time I'm done with the prosecution they'll be dropping it."

"Why do you care?"

"Why don't you? He's your goddamn son! You couldn't be fucked to turn up and support him at all during the last few months… until now? What? Some publicity stunt for your reputation? Can't have people thinking the good doctor is defending an alleged murderer."

"You don't know me."

"Thank god for that." My eyes run over him in disgust.

"You're making a mistake."

"Wouldn't be my first."

* * *

"How you doing today?" I whisper to Jay, taking his hand briefly.

"Honestly, not great." My eyes take in his bandaged hand, remembering the silence full of emotions last night as I cleaned and dressed his wound.

"I've got you."

"What would I do without you?"

"Well obviously your life would be over." I send him a wink, enjoying the smile reaching his eyes.

* * *

"Your honor, the fact that they found this weapon doesn't change the fact they lost it at some point in the last _twelve_ years. It's clearly broken the chain of custody and I move to have it thrown out and struck from the record."

"Your honor, we have located DNA on the weapon that doesn't belong to the victim." The prosecution jumps in, scrambling to keep it in play.

"Bringing me right back to chain of custody, you can't prove it hasn't been tainted." I argue back.

"We have made significant advancements in forensics since the murder. It's how we discovered the new evidence."

"After misplacing a key piece of evidence, and then having it magically appearing right before trial." I bite out, sending the prosecution a hard stare.

"Miss Lindsay."

"Apologies your honor, just pointing out the suspicious timing."

"Nevertheless, Miss Lindsay is correct. Chain of custody has been broken, I'm afraid whatever has been found must be struck from the record." I feel a small smile on my face, feeling the case is finally going out way.

"Take my DNA." We all gasp in shock at Jay's voice, as he stands up tall beside me.

" _Jay_ , you don't talk. I do. _Sit_ _down_ , I have this." My eyes are panicked as I hiss out my objections.

"In fact, you don't even need to take my blood. The military has it. But to avoid any concerns or doubts, take a new sample and run it. It won't match." The confidence is obvious, my mouth dropped open.

"Your honor, a quick recess." My voice is in near hysterics as I try to calm down and gather my thoughts.

 **A/N: I know it's short, sorry! But it's almost 1 am and I'm really tired. Figured something is better than nothing? Otherwise it was just going to sit here another week lol**

 **Please leave a review and let me know what you think? :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Thank you for your reviews and tweets everyone :)**

 **No one fall over in shock or anything that I updated... I'm shocked too lol**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Six

Erin POV

"Jay, what the hell do you think you're doing?" I hiss as we enter a private room.

"Proving to everyone that I'm innocent." I narrow my eyes at his tone.

"I was going to get that thrown out. You don't need to do this. You _won't_ do this."

"But I am." He doesn't back down at my stare, full of fear and terror.

"We are going to walk back in there and you will apologise for your outburst."

"No."

"Why not?" I cry out exasperated.

"Because the blood won't match. I didn't do this."

"This isn't the only way… I can get this whole thing tossed."

"Even if we beat this… let's say you create reasonable doubt, it won't matter. People will still think I'm capable of this." He shrugs, a heavy conscious.

"That's a bullshit excuse and you know it. It's not worth risking your life." Jay takes a deep breath, eyes conflicted as he stares me down.

"Fine, you want the truth?" His eyes are intense, so many emotions shining through.

After what feels like a lifetime I nod hesitantly, unable to find my voice.

"You're the reason." His voice is so confident.

"What?"

"I can pretty much live with anyone else thinking that of me, but you? As time goes by doubt will consume your mind, until you aren't sure anymore."

"Jay…" I whisper taken aback.

'That's if you even believe me now."

"It's complicated."

"Why?"

"You're my client."

"Now look who is using a bullshit excuse." He fires back, stepping closer.

"I don't need to form an opinion on your innocence to defend you."

"No, but I'd hope it's more than that for you… it seems to be. Unless it's all been an act."

"Jay…"

"Has it? Been an act?"

"No, of course not. I care about you." Tears are betraying me, shimmering in my eyes.

"Then I need to hear it… I need you to believe it. You said last night you weren't ready to admit to me why you're staying by my side."

"I'm not." I whisper, eyes dropping to my feet.

"I don't know who hurt you in your past, but I would never do that Erin." I wipe the falling tears away.

"Jay… stop. We need to get back."

"For gods sake! Just tell me… do you believe me or not? Because you have either changed the topic or blown me off when I've asked in the past."

"Ask again. If it's that important to you."

"Erin, do you believe I'm innocent?" Jay's eyebrows are furrowed, his worried eyes peering into mine.

"I do... I feel like I've gotten to know the man you are. I don't think you could have done this." I bite my lip, trying to control my breathing and keep the sobs at bay. There's a flicker of relief of his face before it disappears, fear replacing it again.

"Don't think. That's enough room for doubt to push its way in and take over. I need to prove to you that I'm innocent without a shred of doubt, this DNA test can show that I didn't do this."

"It's not a good idea… don't you trust me? This is my area, I know what I'm talking about."

"Of course I trust you… but this is more than that. I know you think this is in my head and it will fade. But it won't, I can't walk around my whole life with peope thinking I did that. With the cops not searching for her real killer… with you open to the possibility I would do such a thing."

"There's another way."

"Why do you keep saying that? Unless you don't really believe I'm innocent. You're scared the DNA will match."

"People lie Jay! They are notoriously unreliable. It's been that way my whole life… and I can't have you taken away. Even if what's taken away is just the idea of you… a sweet, caring guy. I'm sorry… I've seen this go wrong too many times."

"Erin, you need to have some faith in me. I promise you, believing in me will not backfire or hurt you."

Jay's hand reaches for me before continuing.

"I know you feel this connection between us as well. You're fighting it… I can see that. Well I don't want to. I need you to believe me, to _know_ I'm innocent."

I start shaking my head, needing to clear my thoughts when Jay pulls me closer. Our eyes meet and I feel a pull towards his, his lips calling for mine.

It's the same feeling I've been ignoring since we met, my heart racing alerting me to possible danger.

Feeling his warm breath on my face, his firm hands on my wrists have never felt more right.

The wait is over when I feel Jay's hands in my hair and his lips crashing against mine hungrily, bringing our bodies together.

His warm lips are fighting with mine, his tongue slipping through to battle with my tongue. He pushes me back until my butt is against the table and he lifts me up without any effort.

He moves his body in between my legs, his hands moving down to caress my bare thighs beneath my skirt.

We're both panting when we part ways.

"I shouldn't have done that." I whisper against his lips.

"But I don't care." He smiles at these words and I pull him back in.

"Please let me do this." He breaks away to ask.

"Okay." I whisper back hoping this doesn't back fire, but feeling completely at his mercy in this moment in time that I couldn't reply any other way.

* * *

"Hey kid, how's it going with the Halstead case?" I'm staring out the window when Hank enters my office.

"They located the murder weapon, the plea deal is gone." My tone is distant, too caught up in the whirlwind of today's events.

"Your client didn't want it anyway. Kim told me you were going to turn it down, even though the witness confession was going to stand." There's something in his tone provoking me to respond.

"It's what the client wanted." I finally turn to look at Hank.

"Since when can you not get a client to change their mind?" I just shrug, knowing the rules changed the day I met Jay.

He's no typical client.

"He's doing a DNA test to clear his name. There are two sets of DNA on the murder weapon." My tone is back to reciting facts of the case, masquerading my emotions.

"Erin, that's a big gamble."

"It will pay off, I'm sure."

"Because you're in love with him?"

"What?" I whip my head around to Hank, eyes wide in shock.

"It's obvious Erin, don't forget I've known you since you were fifteen. I was actually starting to think you were going to avoid love for your whole life."

"I-I… I was planning to. He didn't let that happen."

"I'm curious though. You met him when he was arrested for murder, what did you see in him?"

"A kindness. To everyone, even the guards. It was little things but I could tell he's a good man. He didn't do this Hank."

"I believe you. Be careful Erin." Hank gives me a kiss on the forehead before leaving me alone with my thoughts.

* * *

"Hey." I whisper to Jay as he opens the door.

"Hey, come in." I follow Jay into his apartment and accept his offered beer.

"What happened today, should not have happened." Jay's face drops at my words and I hate what I'm doing.

"You need to find another lawyer, I can't be objective here." I pick at the label on the bottle, needing a distraction.

"I don't want another lawyer, I want you. Fight for me Erin, please. Fight this injustice. I need you to fight. Hell, I just need you." There's a conviction in his words, a desire to stop me walking out of his life.

" _Don't_. Don't use my words against me. This is hard for me too." I shake my head, lip caught in my teeth as I place the beer down preparing to leave.

"Then stay." Jay pleads, warm hand catching mine.

"I can't." I struggle out, distracted by his gentle caress.

"Why?"

"Because I'm falling for you damn it."

 **A/N: HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME RIGHT NOW?!**

 **The answer should be A LOT ;) Yes, I know it's short but it's midnight... and besides they kissed! After alllll this time.**

 **So you know... you're welcome hahaha**

 **Hope you enjoyed, please leave me a review with your thoughts. Reviews equal a reward.**

 **That reward will be a hell of a lot more than kissing... ;) lol**


	7. Chapter 7

**Wow. Looks who is finally back... haha :)**

 **I hope you all had Happy Holidays, whatever you might celebrate :)**

 **I've kept you waiting long enough so enjoy ;)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Seven

Previously…

" _You need to find another lawyer, I can't be objective here." I pick at the label on the bottle, needing a distraction._

" _I don't want another lawyer, I want you. Fight for me Erin, please. Fight this injustice. I need you to fight. Hell, I just need you." There's a conviction in his words, a desire to stop me walking out of his life._

" _Don't. Don't use my words against me. This is hard for me too." I shake my head, lip caught in my teeth as I place the beer down preparing to leave._

" _Then stay." Jay pleads, warm hand catching mine._

" _I can't." I struggle out, distracted by his gentle caress._

" _Why?"_

" _Because I'm falling for you damn it."_

Jay's lips crash against mine, his hands on my hips and mine cling to his cheeks before running through his hair and resting at the back of his neck.

He backs me up against he wall as he undoes my coat and slips it from my shoulders not giving me a breath to argue.

"Jay." I whisper, not really wanting him to stop at all.

"You can't argue your way out of this one Erin."

"But arguing's what I do." I smirk, his blue eyes flick down to my lips briefly before I feel his hot breath against my begging lips and his eyes staring deeply in mine.

"I'm falling for you too Erin, I think I already have." I inhale deeply, the shock jarring me. The butterflies increase their fluttering as my belly tightens in anticipation.

He kisses me again, his hands working on my blouse buttons causing a moan as his rough fingers brush along my smooth skin.

"Stay." He whispers against my neck as he trails kisses down, tongue slipping out as he goes.

"Okay." His lips meet mine again as he picks me up, my legs wrap around his waist without a thought, allowing him to carry me into his bedroom.

His foot catches his couch as he walks past and I giggle against his lips as he stumbles, my hot sex pressed against his hard abs too much fabric between us.

Jay puts me down gently, my feet finding the floor beneath us. We stand face to face, our bodies touching as our chest heave to greedily inhale the oxygen we've been deprived of.

I smile as his fingers trail the side of my face, our stares intent, feeling the tension and pent up feelings we have been burying for too long now.

My eyes close naturally as his hands slide over my shoulders and push my blouse off until it crumples at my feet.

His lips find my collarbone, causing my breath to hitch in anticipation waiting for his hands to grace my skin again.

I reach out to clench the ends of his shirt before he carefully removes my hands, his own reaching for my belt and pants.

They fall gracefully to the floor as the cool air hits my already wet and throbbing pussy.

I slowly open my eyes when I don't feel pressure where I crave, I see Jay kneeling before me his hand reaching to slip my feet from their heels.

I kick them off hurriedly as I watch his shoulders move as he chuckles.

"Impatient are we?"

"Can you blame me?" I hit back immediately.

"I wasn't the one putting off the inevitable."

"I was scared." I whisper vulnerably.

"Of what?"

"This." I inhale as his fingertips run along my bare skin.

"Sex?" One side of his mouth tilts up in a playful smirk.

"No. Losing myself in you." Our moment is broken as his lips find the inside of my thigh kissing up to my covered sex.

I toss my head back in pleasure as he hooks his fingers in and discards my lacy panties.

My fingers thread through his hair as he places a kiss to the area craving his warmth.

He wastes no time sliding his fingers easily in, pumping them in and out as I grind on his hand impatient for the relief I desire by his doing.

Just as I reach the beginning of my climax his tongue replaces his fingers as he continues to weaken my knees.

My legs give out as I crumble to my orgasm, Jay's strong arms helping me back onto his bed.

The bed I've dreamed of since we met, our eyes meeting and the warmth of his soul shining through.

I'm panting as he pulls his shirt off, revealing his hard abs to me.

I hold up my finger and motion him closer with a sexy smile, my hair lying around my head like a halo.

My legs wrap tightly around his waist, pulling him flush against me. I enjoy his moan as my wet sex touches his bare skin.

I run my fingers down his exposed back, feeling the rough landscape of the scars beneath my tips wishing to sooth his mental anguish attached to the memories they hold.

We rid his jeans quickly wishing to join our aching bodies, fulfilling their wishes after so long. Our bodies have betrayed us since we met, pulling us together as my mind kept us apart.

Jay removes my bra in one move, his hot mouth not wasting a second before latching on. I groan as his fingers pinch my other nipple, before massaging in time with his mouth movements.

My hips buck as his teeth pull my nipple softly before his mouth moves to my neck, finding the spot behind my ear in record time, the very spot that makes me melt.

I pump his hard penis in my hand a few times before guiding it to my entrance gasping as Jay begins to push in.

He stills after he enters, kissing my lips gently before moving to find a better position.

The feeling of our bodies together is more than I could have imagined, moving against each other and our soft moans filling the air around us.

My hands find his chest before pushing him onto his back, his hands on my hips bringing me with him.

I throw my hair to one side as I look down at him lying on the bed. I move experimentally on him as I adjust to our new position, feeling him drive deeper into my core.

He coaxes me to start riding him as my nails claw down his chest, giving him some new scars attached to good memories.

It's not long before we're calling each other's names, our bodies trembling with pleasure as we ride through our orgasms.

We don't waste much time before we spend the next hour exploring every feeling we have had over the last four months.

* * *

"Your dad seems like a jackass." I smile as I feel Jay's chuckle rumble under my cheek.

We have been lying in bed for the past hour talking about Jay's past and basking in the aftermath of our lovemaking.

Jay's fingers play with my hair as I sigh softly, truly happy for the first time in my life.

"Yeah. He is."

"Well I think you did an amazing thing, serving your country. I don't really get what he means by 'something important with your life'. The men and women who fight for this country are important, and so are the cops… just so you know. For when you become one."

"If I become one."

" _When_. I'm your lawyer aren't I? And I never lose." I look up and wink quickly.

"Really? You're not passing me off onto another lawyer?"

"I think the past few hours prove I'm not going anywhere Jay. Not now… I'm in too deep. I truly care for you and I need you in my life."

"I need you too… and not just because my life depends on it." I giggle before kissing his chin gently; he turns his head to capture my lips in his.

"I'm glad you didn't become a doctor just to please him. You were true to yourself. That takes real strength."

"Me too. My mum helped me stay true to who I was. She was great."

"She sounds it. I wish I could have met her." I place a kiss on Jay's chest, right over his heart.

"What about you?" He asks softly, hope in his tone. Knowing I don't indulge in speaking about my past or myself.

"I haven't ever told anyone. I didn't have a nice childhood." I whisper softly, busying myself by drawing patterns on his bare skin.

"You don't have to tell me." His lips find my forehead, comforting me.

"No, I want to." I insist, looking up into his eyes.

"Okay." His forehead rests against mine briefly.

"Let's just say my mother Bunny never won mother of the year. She was a junkie and an alcoholic… and the days she ignored me were the good ones. She kicked husband number five to the curb by the time I was fourteen; let's just say I've had some commitment issues." I pause for a moment, gathering my thoughts as I feel his fingers running along my spine.

"In fact until you, I've never wanted anything more than a casual fling."

I can sense Jay smiling briefly and I look up to meet his eyes to return the gesture.

"You want a relationship with me?" His blue eyes are hopeful and I nod, he leans down to place a kiss on my lips.

"Her boyfriends weren't nice guys, some showed too much interest in me… but mainly they were just violent." I feel Jay's hold on me tighten and I can sense he wants to carry out revenge on these people, with the skills the military taught him.

"When I was nine she OD'd on the kitchen floor… I didn't want to be taken away so I dragged her into the bathtub. No idea how I managed it… and I kept filling it with ice, just praying she wouldn't die. She finally came around, looked at me and said 'get my cigarettes Erin.'" I let out a bitter laugh.

I'm aware the memories are coming out jumbled, however my mind has locked them away so long I don't have the energy to order them. Wishing to speak about them and lock them away as quick as possible.

"I was in a women's shelter one summer when husband… three? Got abusive with her too and she left him. It was safe there…" I trail off, this memory one of the more pleasant.

"She bailed when I was fourteen for a while and I was on the streets doing… not nice things for money." I pause again as I feel the shame wash over me, reliving the years I wish to forget. The time of my life I try so hard to never think about, consumed by my work.

"She turned back up when I was fifteen but only for a fix… which she threw up all over me. I couldn't shower so I went to school like that. The embarrassment… a teacher actually accused me of having a drinking problem. And like always I copped to it, protecting my _mum_. That's around the time I met Hank." I'm whispering, mind caught in the past nightmare I lived.

"Your boss?" Jay asks recalling the time he's met him, I nod softly.

"He's scary. And I was in the military." I chuckle softly.

"He's a big softie."

"Sure." Jay raises an eyebrow in disbelief.

"Anyway, he was doing some pro bono work and came across my case. He got me off the charges and then… I guess he took a shining to me. He offered me a place in his home… in his family. His wife Camille was lovely and his son Justin was mostly a good guy. Camille died of cancer a few years ago…"

"I'm sorry." I shrug softly.

"Anyway, Hank pushes me hard in school. He said I was smart and the sky was the limit. I knew pretty quick that I wanted to be a lawyer like Hank, and fight back against injustice. I graduated top of my class… and here I am. All thanks to Hank." I shrug as a way of ending my story, wishing to distract myself from the onslaught of memories springing free.

"So I have Hank to thank for bringing you to me." Jay whispers before kissing me softly.

The kisses turn passionate when he pushes his tongue in, and soon Jay has rolled us over for another round of making love.

* * *

The next morning I wake up to the smell of bacon, eggs and coffee and crack an eye to find Jay at my bedside with food.

"You certainly know the way to my heart." I joke as he chuckles at me.

"Morning baby." He tells me as I sit up.

He places the tray across my lap as he leans in for a quick peck, before going around to join me in bed.

We eat breakfast in silence as I cuddle up to his side, not addressing the heaviness in the room and the unanswered questions swirling around us.

"Thanks babe. It was great." I cradle the coffee between my hands as Jay places the tray on the floor.

"You stayed." He comments quietly.

"I thought that's what you wanted?"

"It is. I'm so happy you stayed. Just part of me worried you would regret it and run away."

"I'm done pretending, and running away and pushing you away. I want this. We'll make it work." I smile softly up at him, trying to block out the persistent thoughts about the trial.

"Of course we will." Jay places a kiss on my lips.

"I do need to get to work though." I pull away regrettably.

"I have this big case to work on… you might have heard about it." I wink playfully at him.

"How about I join you in the shower?" I groan at his raised eyebrow knowing I can't say no to that.

"Okay, meet you in there." I give him one last kiss before getting out of bed; completely aware he's admiring my body as I walk towards the bathroom.

I throw my wet hair into a messy bun as Jay's hands are around my waist from behind.

"Stop, you're going to make me late. Well, even later." I giggle as his lips meet my neck.

"I can't help myself." His scuff rubs against my neck.

I roll my eyes as I do my pants up and start on my shirt buttons.

I'm checking my voicemails on my phone as I look for my shoes, finally free from Jay's grip.

"Oh my god." I whisper and drop the shoe I just located.

"What?" Jay is instantly worried and looking at me across the bed.

"The DNA results are in." My heart is in my throat as I listen to the message, Jay's blue eyes searching my face.

"The prosecutor wants to see me."

 **DON'T KILL ME! Try to focus on the fact I updated and not the fact I left the cliffhanger there... ;)**

 **Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. This chapter was impossible after I built the tension up so bloody much lol**

 **Thank you for reading :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey all! Thanks for you patience... I actually can't believe I'm updating today... landed back in Aus 10 hours ago. Had a great trip and omg... I MET SOPHIA AND JESSE!**

 **Soz, but omg I can't explain it. Was so amazing. Also met so many lovely people waiting in lines and such :)**

 **Even met the beautiful Katharina, crazy how our love for Sophia/ the show can bring people from around the world together...** **Anyway she asked for an update in person, so she gets it! hahaha**

Reasonable doubt – Chapter Eight

 _Four months ago_

 _Jay POV_

" _I didn't do this."_

" _So you've said." I rub my head in frustration, anger welling up inside me._

" _What happened that night?"_

" _I already told you! I told you guys back then, and I've told you tonight."_

" _Tell us again." The cop deadpans, sitting opposite me._

" _Can you just tell me what this is about? Why now? Why me?" My stress levels are high after having been arrested tonight._

" _Because murder doesn't have an expiration date."_

" _Nor should they. I would love for you to catch Allie's killer, but that's not me! I loved her!"_

 _There's a knock on the door._

" _What?" the gruff voice of the cop calls out._

" _His lawyers here. And she's pissed." The cop seems rattled by whoever he's speaking of._

" _What? I don't have a lawyer?" I say before I can process it._

" _Maybe your rich daddy sent her. Don't think you'll get away with this because you come from money." The implication is clear; they are certain I'm guilty and aren't interested in exploring other possibilities._

" _I don't need his money or help, I didn't do this." I defend with the stubbornness I've always had._

" _You heard him. Not his lawyer."_

" _You've got to be kidding me?" I cringe when I hear her voice through the door, wishing to get a peak._

" _Don't make me report you, move your ass and let me in to see my client now." She growls at him._

 _My eyes widen at the voice of the lawyer on the other side of the door, something inside me immediately regrets sending her away in a snap decision._

" _Keep your mouth shut Jay! I'll see you once you've been moved." I hear her call through the door, ending it with a large bang on the door._

 _I lick my lips thinking through her words and my options._

" _I changed my mind. I'm done talking until I've seen my lawyer."_

" _You can see her once you've been transferred."_

 _Her words echo in my head, 'once you've been moved.'_

" _Transferred?" I question, the fear unmistakable._

" _To prison pending trial."_

" _What? But I'm innocent."_

" _Tell it to the judge."_

 _The door slams behind him, leaving me alone in the dark interrogation room that has transformed from my dream to my nightmare._

 _From soon to be cop, to murder suspect._

* * *

Jay POV

Anxiousness swirls in me as I wait for Erin to get in touch with me; she insisted I not attend the meeting with the prosecutor.

My eyes flick to the time again, trying to keep calm.

I curse before getting up to pace again, my mind full of horrors from my time in prison.

Fingertips trace my lips remembering the silver lining to this nightmare, my dream girl walking into my life.

This may be the one good thing my father has ever done for me.

* * *

 _Four months ago – Erin POV_

 _"Erin Lindsay" The words are out of my mouth before the phone is to my ear._

 _"Miss Lindsay, Pat Halstead here." I raise an eyebrow, pulling my full attention to the phone call._

 _"Father of Jay Halstead?' I take a guess having heard all about the cold case arrest over the media._

" _You know who I am." There's only shame in his tone._

" _I know who your son is. He's been all over the news."_

" _Yes." His reply is terse and I know it's not the coverage he wants for his family._

" _How can I help?" I steer the conversation back to the reason for his call._

" _You can defend my son and have these charges dropped." I raise my eyebrows at the rude edge to his tone, wondering if this trait runs in the family._

 _Arrogance._

 _His son is certainly attractive, he would have misguided reason to feel arrogance._

 _My mind is too caught up in imagining what Jay Halstead is like I don't reply._

 _Pat clears his throat and I shake my head slightly._

" _If you've got the money for my expertise. I can defend your son." The line is well rehearsed, falling back to basics to rid my thoughts of his blue eyed son._

" _Charges dropped." I can practically hear him clench his teeth, it's an order not a request._

" _I'll see what I can do."_

" _I have the money. You see to that." The line disconnects and I stare at the phone in my hand for a moment._

" _Asshole." I glare at the phone, wondering what I've gotten myself into._

 _It's my job to read people and exploit the situation to ensure I use the law in my favor._

 _In the clients favor._

 _I detected no warmth directed towards his son. I can't help but wonder if it's deserved, or misplaced._

 _Is Jay the cold blooded murder the media is crucifying or an innocent? I groan before turning back to the file on my desk, resigning myself to not caring either way._

 _It doesn't change my defense._

* * *

Present day – Erin POV

I tap my foot impatiently, waiting for the DA to invite me into his office.

My mind drifts back to the first time I spoke to Pat Halstead.

Now knowing his lack of warmth is misguided and wishing I could give him a piece of my mind. I drift off thinking of Jays anxious eyes this morning, imagining him wearing a hole through his floorboards with his pacing while waiting for my phone call.

"Miss Lindsay." I roll my eyes in annoyance.

"About time. What you got?" The words are through my mouth as I saunter through his doors and perch myself on one of his seats.

"Nice to see you too." I roll my eyes at the pleasantries.

"Yeah, yeah. Now the DNA results?"

"Straight to business I see."

"Yes." My reply is terse.

"The results were inconclusive." My heart drops, I try and control myself.

"Inconclusive?" My eyebrows raise,forcing the word out.

"Yes."

"What the hell does that even mean?"

"It means your client can take the deal or take his chances with trial."

"I'll put in a motion to have the blood tested at an independent lab."

"You go ahead." There's a smirk on his face.

"I hope you aren't holding anything back. If you fail to disclose evidence to the defense I'll have this thrown out so fast you're head will be spinning." I rise to my feet, leveling him with a fierce look.

"When I say the results were inconclusive what I mean is, it came back as a close match." My heart drops, belly churning with my breakfast.

"How close?"

"In the 90 percent range." I want to wipe the smirk right off his smug face.

"Excuse me?"

"Yep. You heard me." my mind races.

"The evidence broke chain of custody, the blood could be compromised. It's not admissible." I internally curse this wasn't the first words from my mouth, knowing my relationship with Jay is clouding my judegment.

"No it's not. But makes me think we got the right guy. The new deal is 10 years in prison. No parol."

"You're kidding. It would be 100% match if my client were guilty."

"It was close enough." I scoff, mind still clouded with this information.

"Close enough good enough for the DA these days?" He narrows his eyes at me.

"DNA doesn't lie. But you're right. I can't use it in court. But we won't be dropping the charges. Your client will take the deal or stand trial."

"See you in court then."

"I hope I don't have to remind you to take this to your client. You must disclose all offers of deals."

"You don't. I'm not the one who needs help playing by the book. But I know him, he won't take this."

"How do you know?"

"He's innocent." The ease and conviction in which the words fall from my lips don't surprise me.

His laugh is condescending.

"Oh Erin, how long have you been doing this? There's no such thing."

"I never believe my clients. I make it a point not to think about it. So it says a lot I know my client is innocent."

"Can't have anything to do with how close you two are." He raises an eyebrow, his tone conveying his meaning.

I narrow my eyes.

"Not too professional Lindsay."

"Go fuck yourself." I head to the door angrily before pausing to throw one last insult out.

"'Cuz no one else will." I miss his reaction as I've already slammed his door behind me.

* * *

"Jay" My voice is quiet as I enter his apartment, wishing for a way to keep this news to myself.

"Erin! What's going on? What happened?"

"Jay." I sigh, not knowing how to crush him with these words.

"Why couldn't he give you the results over the phone? Tell you they didn't match. They couldn't have. It's impossible. I didn't do this." There is such conviction in his voice.

"I believe you."

"Thank you." His words are quiet but his gratitude is loud.

"Jay, the results were inconclusive."

"What does that mean?"

"They won't drop the charges." I reach for his hand, running my thumb over his knuckles.

"But... I don't understand."

"I'll put in a motion to have them tested at an independent lab but their results show..." I trail off unsure how to finish.

"What?" His eyes are tortured, I lean my forehead against his briefly.

"A match in the 90 percent range."

"What?"

"The blood samples are probably compromised. Or planted. This is Chicago Police Department." I would do anything to take the current look from his eyes.

"So what do we do now?" He asks defeated.

"They won't drop the charges. It's either a deal or trial."

"I won't take a deal. I won't confess to something I didn't do. Especially for two years of my life."

"Ten." I correct gently.

"Does that mean they are confident in their case?" He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger, taking his hand from mine in the process.

"Babe. He's always confident he'll win. But _I_ always win. I'm that good." I raise an eyebrow, trying to lighten the mood.

"What should I do?" He whispers out, looking completely lost.

"I can't tell you that."

"Not as my attorney but as my girlfriend."

"Girlfriend?" The shock is evident on both of us.

"Umm I mean... we agreed we wanted this to be something…" He rubs the back of his neck, a red flush appearing.

"No, I like the sound of it." I smirk at him.

"So do I."

"Well as your girlfriend I would say let's take the bastard to court. Besides I've already told him to take the deal and screw himself with it." Jay chuckles at me.

"So we fight."

"Hell yeah." I pull him into my arms, his head resting in my neck.

* * *

"How you doing?" I look up from my notes to take in Jay's stoic face.

We've been on the couch for the better part of the morning, my legs over his and his hands resting comfortably on them.

"Fine."

"Somehow I don't beleive that."

"I'm on trial for murder, I opened my big mouth so now they are even more sure they got their guy… my DNA is a damn close match and somehow you still have faith in me."

"Of course." I whisper, tears springing to my eyes.

"How?" His voice breaks, blue eyes unable to meet mine.

"I just know. There's so much I don't know. I don't know who killed Allie, I don't know how the DNA is such a close match, I don't know how we'll win… but the one thing I know? And I really need you to hear me on this." I pause, waiting for his eyes to find mine.

"The one thing I know for certain, is that you didn't do this." His lips quiver before he finally nods, I move on the couch to grasp his head in my hands and place a long kiss on his forehead.

"You don't deserve this. You deserve everything you want in life… I'm going to make sure you get it." He nods into my neck, my own tears drop when I feel warm tears on my neck and his shoulders shaking.

* * *

I'm picking at my red nail polish distractedly as I stare down at the paperwork in front of me desperately searching for an easy fix to this mess we're in.

After lunch Jay sent me off to work, knowing I have a job to do and sending me on my way with a promise he wouldn't spend the time apart toruting himself with thoughts.

"Erin." The tone of Hank's voice has me instantly on alert.

"Hank, what's happened?" He sighs loudly before sticking his hands in his pockets.

"The senior partners have decided to drop Jay Halsteads case. I'm sorry." He offers the last two words in a pathetic attempt to sooth the slap in my face.

"Repeat that?" I growl out standing up to stare Hank down.

"We're not doing this for free."

I feel the floor being ripped out from under me, cursing at the blows being delivered to us today.

Our happiness from last night such a distant memory.

 **A/N: You all know the drill by now... I love my cliffhangers. Please let me know your thoughts with a review :)**

 **Hope you enjoyed, sorry for any typos!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: You're reviews have been so awesome with my updates that I'm back again! :) Thank you so much!**

 **Enjoy :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Nine

 _Previously_

" _Hank, what's happened?" He sighs loudly before sticking his hands in his pockets._

" _The senior partners have decided to drop Jay Halsteads case. I'm sorry." He offers the last two words in a pathetic attempt to sooth the slap in my face._

" _Repeat that?" I growl out standing up to stare Hank down._

" _We're not doing this for free."_

 _I feel the floor being ripped out from under me, cursing at the blows being delivered to us today._

 _Our happiness from last night such a distant memory._

"It's pro bono. It's good for the firm." My voice is trying to contain my emotions, my eyes flashing dangerously at the man before me.

"Maybe if you were defending a victim from a different socio economic background… not someone the media has already crucified as a cold blooded murderer." There's a bitterness in me instantly, linked directly to Hank.

"It's my time, I'll work for free." It takes all my stregth to reign in my anger.

"But the firm is then missing out on billable hours when you're too busy on this loser case." My gaze if full of fire as I stare right through Hank, my mind unable to process a loser outcome.

"What? You want me to pay myself to represent Jay?" I stand up, crossing my arms defensively.

"I want you to drop the case." I raise an eyebrow, no intention to co-operate.

"That's not an option."

"Look Erin, I get this is personal for you now with your crush but-"

"Excuse me?" My voice could slice the tension in the room.

"You know it's not like that… how I feel about him." I'm hurt thinking back to our conversation not too long ago, feeling betrayal.

" _But_ you're setting yourself up to get hurt. Maybe lose your job."

"I don't care, they'd be stupid to let me go."

We're silent a few beats while I weigh up my options.

"I'll take all my personal leave. I have months saved up." Hank lets out a loud sigh, reaching his thumb up to rub his brow.

"You won't be able to use the firms resources."

"I'll make do."

"Erin, you're making a mistake."

"Get out." My eyes have dropped to my desk, unable to stomach his sight another minute.

* * *

"Babe, what you doing home so early?" I ignore the swell in my heart when Jay says home, knowing he means nothing of it.

"Things just got harder for us… but please don't worry about it." He's by my side in an instant, his hands cupping my cheek.

"What happened?"

"The firm want me to drop the case… since we aren't getting paid." I shrug, still holding anger.

"Oh."

"So I took my personal leave, I have plenty saved up. We'll be fine, I'm not going anywhere." I'm fierce in my reassuring.

"I can't ask you to do that Erin."

"You didn't ask Jay, and frankly I resent the implication that anyone could ever make me do something I didn't want to do."

"You are certainly strong willed, I love that about you." There's that swell of the heart again.

"You know what you need to be doing?" I lick my lips before pulling away to dump my bag on the dining table.

"Well apart form using those strong muscles over there to help move you case files."

"Are you using me for my body?"

"I'm using you for a hell of a lot." I throw at him with a wink.

"But I'm serious, discovery is being delivered now you've turned down the plea and there's going to be alot."

"My apartment is going to be command central. I'm going to have a lot to go through, and no help."

"I can help."

"No offense babe but you won't know what you're looking for. Besides…" I trail off unsure how to break it to Jay.

"What?"

"The discovery will contain everything to do with Allie's murder…"

"I can do it."

"Alright, you can help by sorting it into the categories I work off."

"What else can I do? You were going to ask me to do something before you mentioned the boxes."

"You'll do it?" I ask completely unsure.

"Anything you tell me to, I'm here to help my defence."

"Solve the murder."

"I'm not a cop Erin."

"You want to be one, the CPD are being useless… you have military experience. Don't tell me you aren't qualified."

"I wouldn't know where to start." I watch Jay shrug stiffly.

"Yes, you do. The night in question. You need to interview everyone there, gather all the facts. Listen to their opinions… to what they saw… to what they _think_ they saw. I'll get you the police file, and then talk to everyone involved in the case. The ones who found the body, the neighbours who live right by that section of the park."

"Damn it, I know you're right." He closes his eyes in defeat.

"I'm always right, haven't your worked that out yet?" He cracks a smile.

* * *

Jay POV

"Will." His name gets caught in my throat, I don't miss his shoulder tense before he slowly turns around.

"Not here Jay." His words are seething, his eyes full of shame as he eyes the ED around us.

"Then where? You won't return any of my phone calls."

"I don't know what you want from me."

"You're my brother. How about some damn support?"

"You stopped being my brother the day you got arrested for murder." The words are a punch in the face.

The confirmation my own brother would bring the verdict back as guilty.

 _Flashback – Four months ago_

 _My eyes are on the cracked linoleum flooring as I shuffle my feet across the room, my body hits the metal chair._

 _The harsh chill is obvious through my thin orange jump suit, my hands reach up for the phone before my eyes finally look through the thick glass seperating me from the world._

 _From my freedom._

 _I watch my brother pause, eyes roaming over me before reaching for the phone too._

" _What the hell man? They're saying you killed Allie."_

" _I didn't do this. I don't know what the hell is going on."_

" _They say they have evidence." I sit back in my seat, shock filling me to my core._

 _I expected this from strangers, but not my own flesh and blood. The distrust already in his gaze, the horror shadowing the thoughts of my guilt._

" _Will, they're mistaken. I didn't touch Allie. You know me… I wouldn't." Tears fill my eyes, both from the grief and desperation._

" _You did leave after she died."_

" _Murdered. You can say it." I'm hissing through a clenched jaw._

" _You left Jay."_

" _To fight a war!" I resist the urge to bang on the glass, clinging to the small remains of calm within me._

" _Dad's organised a lawyer, she's the best in Chicago apparently." I watch my brother's eyes drop to his hands._

" _Yeah I heard."_

" _Just keep your mouth shut until you talk to her okay?"_

" _Will-"_

" _Keep it shut." He hangs the phone up and turns to walk away, the gaurds not wasting a minute before dragging me back to my dark cell._

 _I close my eyes in despair sliding down the wall of the cell, praying for the sassy lawyer whose voice I cannot forget to give me another chance._

 _This time I won't be hasty, I'll readily accept the help._

 _I clear my throat before getting up, mindful of the eyes around me, sizing me up and watching my every move._

 _I promise myself I won't die in here._

 _I didn't survive a war to die on home soil locked up like a criminal._

* * *

Erin POV

"So how'd it go?" I ask distractedly as I type furiously on my laptop, the sound of Jay cooking in the kitchen.

It only takes a few moments to register he doesn't respond before I look up from my place at the kitchen bench to see his tense shoulders facing me.

"Babe?" I question as he doesn't turn to face me.

"I know you need to turn around and grab those vegetables to toss in the pan, preferably before that sauce burns." I raise an eyebrow, peering up at him over my glasses.

He finally turns, head down and goes for the vegetables on the bench not even a foot from me.

"You think you know me so damn well." He mumbles, eyes on the task at hand.

"I'd like to know you a little better, but don't change the subject." I reach over and place my hand on his, stopping him from taking the chopping board and turning again.

"Now whose fault is it if the sauce burns."

"We can have take out. Talk to me." I can't help the pleading tone, wishing I could take the pain away he's drowning in.

"About what Erin?" He snaps harshly.

"It go that bad with your brother?" My voice is soft, his hand slipping from mine as he turns around so he's leaning against the kitchen bench.

"Alright then." I close my laptop when it's clear I won't get an answer to my question.

I slide up from the stool to the bench, pushing the chopping board aside and sliding my ass across the bench.

Sensing Jay can't look me in the eye, his shame choking him, I swing my legs either side of his waist.

He snaps his head to the side, my arms wrapping around his upper body and pulling him close.

My chin rests on his shoulder, forehead agains the side of his face.

"Talk to me." I whisper, my grip like a vice, allowing no escape.

"He said I stopped being his brother the day I got arrested for murder."

"Jay…" I trail off helplessly.

"He won't talk to me. He's been ignoring my phone calls and he made it clear I'm not welcome anywhere near his life. He thinks I'm guilty. That I'm capable of this." I swallow roughly, hearing the tears in Jay's voice.

"That's one theory." I mumble bitterly.

"What?" Jay's voice is sharp and I bite my lip.

"Nothing."

"No, what?"

"Nothing, babe. I'm sorry he's such an ass. You deserve better." I place a kiss on his chin.

"I expected it from dad but not from Will, even after seeing him in jail once… I just…" I feel Jay take a steadying breath, the unease clear as he holds back tears.

"Just what?"

"I can still picture how we were as kids, we were so close… and I just thought that maybe…" I nod against him, his hand coming up to rest over mine.

"Maybe he'd be the brother you remember."

"Yeah." His shoulders move in a shrugging motion.

"I'm so sorry."

"How is this possible?" I feel a tear land on my forearm and I hold him closer.

"What?"

"That my own family think I'm guilty but somehow I have the most important thing." I frown confused, my own tears wetting my eyes.

"What's that?"

" _Your_ trust. You beleive me… it doesn't make sense."

"Maybe it's fate." I whisper softly, wishing I could look into his eyes.

"I don't beleive in fate." I riase my eyes at his dismissal.

"Really? So you think it's just random? The screwed up life I had but I happened to be saved by a lawyer whose footsteps I followed in. That I walked into the jail that day, to be confronted with you. A wrongly convicted ex ranger who by all accounts would never have met me." I'm smiling into his shoulder.

"That after all these years of keeping walls up, distancing myself from forming opinions on a clients guilt… that first meeting I decided you were innocent."

"Well when you put it that way." He turns in my arms, my legs wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer.

"I thought that might shift your view." I smile, bringing his lips to mine briefly.

"What can I say? You're good with your words." He mumbles against my lips.

"I can convince people of anything."

"Good, you have a challenge ahead of you." He drops his forehead to mine, rewarding me with his blue eyes staring into my hazel.

"Most important challenge of my life, I won't let you down Jay."

"You never could, so long as you're right here. With me."

"Always and forever." He finally cracks a hint of a smile, I pull his face to mine and join our lips softly.

"The sauce is burning." I mumble against his lips, cracking open my eye briefly.

"Shit." He moves to pull away, as I giggle.

"Let it burn." I order as I pull his lips back to mine.

 **A/N: If it wasn't 11pm I'd have written you some smut... but I have an idea for Jays List of Fantasies, so you'll get some more soon enough hahaha**

 **Please leave a review with your thoughts :)**

 **Thank you for reading!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Look at me on a roll with these updates... haha**

 **Thank you for your reviews! I love reading what you think ;)**

 **Keep them coming!**

 **Also quick disclaimer, I am not a lawyer nor an expert in law and certainly not** **Illinois law... so I researched a little but basically this is all fiction... and probably so far from right lol  
**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Ten

Erin POV

"Don't forget we have your preliminary hearing today babe." I scroll through my emails with a frown of concentration, munching on leftover chinese, while Jay makes messes around in the kitchen.

"What did you say?" He calls over the sound of the blender, I roll my eyes thinking about his lecture from just five minutes before.

 _You can't have chinese for breakfast. It's not a breakfast food. Excuse me while I go and cook something that resembles breakfast._

"We have your prelim hearing today." I call out again from my place on the couch, too loud since the blender has stopped.

"Prelim hearing?" He scrunches his face up, leaning against the archway.

My eyes take a moment to appreciate his shirtless body before dropping back to my phone.

"Yeah, basically the judge has to be pleased there's enough probable cause to take the accused to court." The words fall out, stretching the sore muscles in my neck.

"The accused?"

"You babe, the defendant. That's what you're referred to." I shrug sympathetically, trying to remind myself this isn't his wheelhouse.

"Aren't we past the point of ensuring they have probable cause at this point?"It's hard to miss the bitterness.

"It's just a formality babe, I'm sorry. In Illinois whenever a defendant has been charged with a felony offense the court has to conduct a preliminary hearing."

"Great. What pointless formality do I need to be put through after this?"

"You'll be arraigned."

"I just want this mess over." His head drops back, eyes closed while he's finds his composure or strength to continue.

"I know babe. You'll have an arraignment where you'll be formally charged with the crime and it will be your chance to enter your plea."

"Not guilty. What a waste of tax payer dollars."

"That's the system. Takes months, sometimes years to even get to trial." He groans before leaning over, elbows on the kitchen counter and his head thumping loudly.

I put my phone and chinese down before heading over and placing my hand on his back.

"But then, we'll be at trial and all we'll have to do is give the jury reasonable doubt you didn't do this." He looks over his shoulder at me, I can almost hear his silent 'oh please'.

"Right."

"Alright, it'll be a little harder with the public spectacle they have made of you. We will really have to show the jurors you are innocent. They can only have doubt in their mind, doubt that you're really the man the prosecution are going to paint at trial."

I bite my lip, knowing he won't like the next topic.

"Which is why I really think you need to get out there, in the media. This was the prosecutors strategy. They leaked it when they pressed charges, how do you think the media covered it so quick? To bias the jury. They need a win, this case has gone unsolved too long."

" _No_ Erin. I won't be paraded in front of the camera's."

"You already are, but you need to sell your narrative. Take control and do it your way."

"I'm not selling anything. This is me… this is who I am. This is my damn life." He raises his voice in anger and conviction, standing tall and glaring down at me.

"You think I don't know that? I'm doing everything in my god damn power to make sure you have a life to live. Not one rotting away in a jail cell. So just think about it alright?" My eyes are drowning in tears, desperation clinging to me.

"No." I narrow my eyes, the stubborn nature of Jay making my eye twitch.

"Do you trust me?" There's silence for too long before he consents.

"Yes."

"Then trust I know what I'm doing. This is my job and I'm damn good at it." I bite out angrily before heading to the bedroom doorway before pausing.

"You want a life when this is all over, you want to have one with me? Then suck it up Jay." He opens his mouth to respond but I disappear into the room before he can, the door slamming and replacing his words.

* * *

"Hey asshole." Shock filled faces of nurses and doctors within earshot turn to me abruptly.

I watch Will Halsteads jaw drop, eyes widening at me.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm Erin Lindsay."

"Right, of course. Well if you don't mind. I'm busy." I narrow my eyes at him before closing the distance between us.

"Actually, I do mind." I grab his arm tightly and push him into the empty room behind him.

"Ow! Hey, you shouldn't be in here." His hands find his hips, staring down at me in such a way I'm sure he thinks is intimidating.

"Yeah well, you shouldn't be such a shitty brother. We're both disappointed."

"Excuse me? Where do you get off?"

"Jay deserves better than you. I can see the shame all over your face. You're right about one thing, you should be full of shame. But not about Jay but with _yourself_. How you could turn your back on him I'll never understand."

"He murdered someone." He hisses back, eyes alit with anger.

"Allegedly. Haven't you heard innocent until proven guilty?"

"Whatever, I can't stand for that."

"He didn't do this."

"You seem awfully invested for an attorney off the case."

"I'm not dropping the case, I care for your brother. He's innocent and I'll be damned sure to prove it." My eyes narrow dangerously.

"You _care_ for him? I see." Will gives me a once over, his look saying it all.

"More than you do apparently." I roll my eyes.

"But here's how it's gonna go. He will show up everyday until you talk to him, at your work, at your apartment building for all your neighbours to see, at your local coffee shops. Or maybe I should say yes to one of the many requests for an interview and he can talk all about his close relationship with his brother. How _supportive_ you've been through all this. Try running from the shame then." My voice is threatening, my eyes lethal.

"What does he want?" He finally relents.

"He wants to solve the damn case. To clear his name." Will scoffs and crosses his arms.

"To find out who really killed Allie. For justice."

"What does he want with me?"

"Just a damn conversation. You know where he lives, so show up or I'll make you regret it."

* * *

"Well that was a waste of time." It's the first words Jay has spoken directly to me since our fight this morning.

By the time I got to court all I had time to offer was a comforting hand in his before the Judge silenced the court.

"Even without the murder weapon they have the roommate testimony." Jay grunts in reply, staring out the window.

"To be straight with you, they'll still use the murder weapon."

"How?"

"They could mention it in front of the jury and before I object they say 'withdrawn'."

"Damn it."

"Or they'll get you on the stand and question you about the fact you volunteered your DNA. Depending on your answer, they'll argue relevance to have the DNA results be included in evidence."

"Okay. You can stop making me feel better now." I sigh loudly, not making a move to turn the car on.

"I'm sorry about this morning." I finally whisper, closing my eyes to rid the evidence of my tears.

"No, I'm sorry. I'm lucky to have you… I'm just not comfortable with all… _that_."

"It's our best bet Jay." I turn to him tears running down my cheek, he reaches over to wipe them away.

"I don't want to lose _who_ I am during this nightmare."

"Well I don't want to lose _you_. Who cares if you have to have some interviews, tell your story… have them frame you as a hero. Because it's the damn truth." My hand hits the steering wheel, trying to blow off steam.

"I'll think about it. I know you're doing what's best for me."

"Okay." I lean into his palm, closing my eyes briefly.

"We need to pick the discovery up from my office."

* * *

"Wow." Jay mutters while I just groan when I see my office piled high with boxes relating to Jay's case.

"Yep." I deadpan in reply.

"Why is there so much?"

"Some of this will be useless but they'll want to drown me in it. They wanted you to take the damn plea… there might even be another offer down the line." I tuck some hair behind my ear, making my way to the boxes.

"So what do you do?"

"I have to find what they don't want me to, in all of that. They're probably hiding something." My hand rests on one of the boxes, biting my lip in thought.

 _Flashback – one day ago_

" _Lindsay." The DA sits across from me, notepad in front of him._

" _Collins."_

" _Did he take the deal?"_

" _I told you he wouldn't."_

" _That's a shame, I was hoping your client would be smart here."_

" _Don't be condescending. Why do you want the plea so bad?" I raise in eyebrow leaning back comfortably in the chair._

" _A swift resolution is best for everyone."_

" _Most especially for the murderer. Least especially for the victim and my client."_

" _Your client is the murderer." He leans forward on his elbows, eyebrows drawn together._

" _Alleged. I shouldn't have to keep reminding everyone of that."A simple shrug is my answer, neither of us backing down with our stare._

" _This can't be about the publicity. You called the press." I narrow my eyes, reading his features only to be met with more silence._

" _Send me the discovery." His eyes finally flinch, a flicker of something unknown in his gaze._

" _If I do, you know what that means right?"_

" _It means you send me the discovery. You catch on slow for a DA."_

" _It means the plea is off the table."_

" _My client doesn't want the plea. But I do want to know what's so interesting in the discovery."_

" _Lindsay."_

" _Send it over. End of conversation." My chair slides back abruptly, swinging my bag over my shoulder and waltzing out of the conference room._

* * *

Jay POV

"Will." His name is quiet falling from my lips, confusion on my face.

"Who's at the door babe?" Erin calls out as she approaches me in a singlet and shorts, ready for bed.

"About time." She spits out at Will while I frown at her confused.

"Erin, this is my brother Will. Will, this is Er-"

"We've met." My eyes widen as they fly back towards my brother, feeling lost.

"When I was in jail?"

"At the hospital today."

"I showed up to give Will a _friendly_ push in the right direction. Isn't that right?" I don't miss the fearful look on his face, and the terrifying look on my girlfriends.

"So this explains it." He smirks over at me, hands in his pockets.

"What?" The question escapes as a growl, eyes narrowing at him.

"What dads money bought you. Why she's stuck around."

"Fuck you. I can't be bought."

"Don't kid yourself, why you still here? Your payday? It's gone, my father won't pick the tab back up. He's done." My eyes drop to the floor briefly, hurt filling me.

Erin's hand finds mine, her other coming up to run along my arm in support.

"I'm here because unlike others in his life, I actually care about him. I believe him, I haven't known him his whole life like you… so I don't know why you and Pat are being such jag-offs about this but I won't abandon him."

"What are you doing here Will?" My voice is harsh, finding my fight, picking up my cues from Erin.

"Ensuring your girlfriend doesn't follow through on her threats." I scrunch my face up confused, looking to her for answers.

"Wise decision." Is her simple retort, eyes finding mine in encouragement.

"Come in." I shake my head at the both of them, feeling even luckier to have Erin in my corner.

"So do you give these perks to all your clients?" My fist balls into a fist as a reflex, my mouth opening to bite back.

"The threats or the sex?" She's quick witted and not at all intimidated.

"Both. Either." He shrugs over at her.

"Tell me first, were you always this much of an jackass?"

"Erin, babe." Her blazing hazel eyes turn to me.

"Sorry." Her hand lands on my chest, angling her body towards me.

"It's okay, but I really need to talk to Will." She nods while I place a kiss on her hairline.

"'Kay. I'm just not a fan of your family."

"And while I could watch you dish out insults all night, I need some answers."

"I'll be in the other room if you need me." She leans in for a quick kiss, conveying her support silently.

"Erin." My brother nods at her as she moves past him.

"Asshole." She throws back without a care.

"She's certainly spirited." I chuckle, eyes following Erin until she's out of sight.

"She's been the best thing to ever happen to me. Even when my life is falling apart."

"I'm uh- I'm happy for you man."

"Are you?" I hit back, so much resentment that I'm drowning, knowing I need to clear the fog clouding my thoughts to get the answers I've been searching for.

 **A/N: Thank you for reading, please let me know your thoughts.**

 **I was going to take a break from writing this weekend... let's see if you can convince me otherwise hahahah**

 **:)**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hey! Thanks for your reviews everyone :) You're the sweetest!**

 **So I have split my focus a little because I created another fanfic account... to write disney... Descendants cuz I love it lol Disney is great, I don't care how old you are hahaha but figured I'm so deep into writing Linstead here I best do it elsewhere lol**

 **Don't worry, as if anyone could let me forget to update these fics!**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Eleven

Jay POV

"So, she's terrifying." I smirk over at Will as we sit awkwardly on the couch.

"Yeah." My chuckle is a breathless whisper.

"What are you doing here Will?" I ask, no trace of amusement.

"Your lawyer told me in no uncertain terms that she'd make my life a living hell if I didn't. So here I am." I feel elated that Erin would have my back like this, getting my brother in front of me anyway she could.

"You think I did this?" My blue gaze is piercing; Will swallows harshly before averting his eyes.

His shoulders rise in a shrug, his lips remaining closed tight.

"What did you want to talk about?" He asks finally.

"That night. I want you to talk me through what you remember."

"I'm not going to testify for you Jay."

"I'm not asking you to. Besides with the way you can barely look at me, I'm pretty sure Erin would tackle you to keep you away from there." He chuckles softly before nodding slowly.

"Well I mean, I was pretty wasted. We all were." He shrugs, scratching his head.

"I wasn't."

"Your fight with Allie might have sobered you up Jay, but you were wasted." I frown down at my hands briefly, mind falling back to the night that changed my world.

"Allie wasn't though, she didn't touch a drop of alcohol that night. She was upset though." Will remembers wistfully.

"I remember, we'd been fighting a lot."

"Yeah, well I know you guys were arguing and it got heated – she stormed out and you followed."

"I know all of this. You don't remember anything else? Did she talk to you that night? Say something?"

I watch Will roll his neck, running a hand through his hair as he thinks back.

"We did actually, before you turned up."

 _Will POV – The night Allie died_

" _Allie!" I call out with a happy buzz, already participating in shots while setting up._

" _Hey Will." I note she's more timid than usual._

" _You okay?"_

" _Yeah, fine. Is Jay here?" She hugs herself, arms crossed sub consciously over her dress._

" _Nah, not yet." I shrug, drowning another shot._

" _Oh. We need to talk." She looks around, almost as if she's willing Jay to walk in._

" _More Jay and Allie drama then?" I can't help the eye roll as I busy myself with anything but the conversation._

" _Huh?"_

" _What did he do this time? Buy you flowers? Hold the door open for you?" I chuckle to myself; internally rolling my eyes at the relationship mess these two are always in._

" _You know he's not always like that." Her tone has bite, her eyes livid._

" _I know… he gets into fights at school."_

" _Yeah. I just want him to grow up." She grumbles petulantly._

" _It's like a frickin' merry go round with you lot. Always on and off. Going around and around with the same problems." I watch her roll her eyes annoyed with me._

" _Whatever Will. At least he can commit to more than the occasional STD."_

" _Ouch, you wound." There's silence between us when I offer her a drink, she shakes her head._

" _So I hear you're heading to Florida for college?" I finally ask, knowing instantly my loose lips have walked me into another field mine._

" _That was the plan."_

" _Was?"_

" _Something tells me, it's not going to happen."_

" _Why?"_

" _I just won't make it."_

Jay POV- Present

"What does that mean?" I frown over at Will, weighing up the importance of the conversation he shared with her.

"I don't know man."

"Was she afraid for her life? Maybe this wasn't random." I mutter to myself, desperate to solve the mystery.

"There's no sexual assault, it was already unlikely it had been random. The way she was murdered tells a story. Of rage. At least that's what the DA will spin." I frown before turning to see Erin in the doorway to the bedroom.

"It's not in my nature to butt out. Besides you'd have to tell me everything anyway." She shrugs excusing her evasion of privacty, as I roll my eyes before nodding.

She walks over and sits in the chair by Will, crosses her legs and looks down at him.

"You and Allie sure had an interesting relationship." I watch her raise an eyebrow, staring Will down with such authority.

"Not really."

"You bickered." She shrugs, looking to be forcibly holding more back.

"You and I have also bickered."

"Cuz you're an asshole." She seethes at him.

"There ya have it. Mystery solved. She also thought that." Will claps his hands loudly once, grasping them between his knees.

"Yeah but I think it cuz you abandoned your brother, why did she?" Will fidgets in his seat before rolling his eyes.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're annoying?" He throws at her.

"All the time. Answer the damn question."

"We just never saw eye to eye. Especially since she was always getting Jay into a mood. I _did_ have to live with him after all." I watch Erin frown at him, eyes narrowed as she thinks about it.

"You didn't think to ask what she meant?" She continues, having resolved to drop the other question for the moment.

"No, it didn't seem important at the time."

"Did you tell the police about your conversation?" I ask, frowning at my hands.

"No."

"Why?" Erin's tone is sharp, her eyes flashing.

"They never asked."

"Huh. Did CPD even do their job? Incompetent idiots." She mutters with an eye roll.

"Look bro, I get it. You want a hail Mary, something to get you out of this mess but…"

"But?" I ask sharply.

"There's a reason people think the worst of you."

"Fights in school doesn't equate to murder." I grind out through my teeth.

"Jay… when you got back to the party that night, you were agitated."

"So? Allie and I had just broken up."

"And bleeding." I turn my palm over in my hand, glancing down at the scar on my wrist.

"Yeah."

"Did the police note your injury down?" I don't move my eyes from my hands to answer Erin.

"Yeah."

"Huh. I haven't seen that in discovery yet." She's pulling her phone out, going to write herself another note. Her phone always attached to her, ready to jot down another idea or thought, her mind never taking a break.

"I wasn't bleeding cuz I hurt Allie." I defend, but unsure why I feel the need with Erin.

"Why were you bleeding?" She asks, not looking up and not showing any unsavory thoughts at the news.

"I was angry and kicking trash cans as I walked along. Some old lady came out with a bat, I didn't hear her and by the time I saw her – I stumbled back in shock. Fell back onto a broken beer bottle, cut my hand and wrist."

"Do you remember where?" She glances up briefly, her thumbs still flying across her iphone screen.

"Yeah, I think so."

"We should try and find that old lady."

"That's great, can I go now?" Will interjects.

"Is there anything else you can think of? New people you saw Allie talking to in the weeks leading up to her death? Or serious conversations she had with anyone?" I ask as a last ditch effort, despite feeling we've got all we could from Will.

"Nope, just you."

"Right. Well you've been a great help." Erin bites out sarcastically.

She purses her lips as Will gets up and I walk him to the door without a word, her disapproving look burning a hole into his back.

"You're amazing, you know that?"

"I do. But I like to hear it anyways. Keeps my ego in check."

"I think it does the opposite." I smirk over at her, closing the distance between us, her feet coming up to push me away with a giggle.

"No, it does exactly what it should. I work best when I can barely get my head through the door."

"I'm serious Erin, thank you for getting Will here." She drops her feet and I kneel in front of her, she leans forward to place a kiss on my lips.

"Now we gotta find that old lady, hope she hasn't kicked the bucket."

"I didn't even think about that."

"That's why you have me, so no more kicking me out of the room." I send him a playful wink.

"I just… I don't know how you can sit here in the presence of my brother – who by all accounts has already decided I'm guilty and listen as he accuses me of murdering my ex girlfriend… and still have faith in me." She cups my cheeks, resting her forehead against mine.

"I told you, I believe in the man you are Jay Halstead. I _know_ you." She places her lips on mine again, pulling me closer.

* * *

"Alright, thanks for dinner babe, I gotta go." I lean down to place a quick peck on his shocked lips before gathering my bag.

"Where?" He turns in his chair watching me throw my stuff in my oversized handbag.

"I need to go home."

"Why?" He frowns confused, getting up and catching my arm gently.

"Because that's where most of the files are, I can't keep bringing them here. You saw all those boxes." I tilt my head, looking up at him through my lashes.

"Oh. I just like sleeping with you." His hands find my hips and bring me close.

"Oh, I bet." I smirk up at him.

"Not like that… well like that too obviously." He smirks back down at me, his hands moving around to cup my ass.

"I know what you mean babe."

"I just want to spend as much time as we can together in case..." He trails off before opening his mouth to continue.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, we'll have forever together. You'll get sick of me, I promise."

"Erin…" He trails off, doubt shining through in his bright eyes.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes… but I don' trust the justice system."

"That's nice. You should include that in your academy application." He rolls his eyes at me, but cracking a smile.

"I'm serious. I've gotten so use to spending my time with you… when I'm alone I can't stop thinking about the worst. And I can't help it… because I've been to prison and it was hell."

"Oh baby. I won't let you go back there." My hands land on his biceps, squeezing in support.

"I know you're doing everything you can, I'm so grateful." I lean up to press our lips together urgently.

"Well it's a good thing I had this made then, isn't it?" I pull back to smile, digging into my pocket and producing a key.

"What's that?" He stares at the silver dangling from my hand.

"A key." I giggle as he rolls his eyes.

"To where?"

"Where do you think?" I bite my lip, anticipation swirling within me.

"A key to your apartment?" He whispers, almost afraid he'll wake up from a dream.

"Yeah. Move in with me." Anxiousness creeps in every passing second he stares in silences at me.

"Or come and go as you please. Whatever. Just know my home is your home." He blinks at me in shock, opening his mouth before closing it again.

"Gotta go." I lean in for another kiss, his shocked lips moving to kiss me back too late.

"What?" His voice is shocked as he stands there with a key in his hand, a smirk on my face as I close his door and leave him standing there weighing up my words.

 **A/N: Please leave a review and let me know what you think :)**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **Lex**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey all! Thanks for all your reviews :)**

 **Those who follow me on twitter know this already but I've actually taken a hard look at myself last week and realized how unhappy I am. Probably since my sister was diagnosed with cancer, I've buried myself in work and with being a property manager - it's not exactly a stress free or fun job.**

 **I've let go of what makes me happy, to the point I don't know what that is anymore. So this week I quit my job and I'm flying over to the U.K. and Europe on the 11th June. I'm going to travel around for a few months, alone, push my comfort zone and meet people and experience different cultures.**

 **I haven't got plans, I'm just going to see where it takes me.**

 **If you know of anywhere I should visit or what I should see, please let me know :)**

 **When I get back I'll be deciding where to take my life, but this is about being selfish and finding my happiness again.**

 **I can't promise frequency of updates on my journey, but I'll be taking my laptops and I'm sure there will be updates.**

 **I hope you can understand, thank you x**

 **Now onto the chapter..**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Twelve

Erin POV

"We need to prepare for the trial." My pen is scribbling furiously across my page, files and boxes filling my dining room to the brim, my home office already in organized chaos.

"Where do we start?" Jay moves towards me, with two coffees in hand.

"First, are we ever gonna talk about the key I gave you?" I lean back in my chair, bringing my foot up to rest on the seat.

I smirk at his gob smacked face, my elbow on my knee as I cock my head at him.

"Uh. I… I mean."

"Yeah?" I push the glasses back up my nose, watching him rub the back of his neck in nerves.

"I'm in this Jay. 100%, so if you're in… just say you're in."

"I'm uh… I'm in." His blue eyes meet mine, full of warmth and spark as he leans forward to brush my lips gently.

"Good. Now I need to know everything about you." I flip back to my professional persona.

"Slow down. I just moved in with you woman. Don't get all needy." I roll my eyes at his banter, a smirk pulling at my lips.

"Don't be a smart ass. Suits me better."

"You do have a nice ass."

"Tell me everything. The good. The bad. The ugly."

"Well… I actually have already changed my address to yours. On all my important paperwork."

"Someone's been busy." He's smirking over at me, a secret in his gaze.

"Thought I'd make it official before you came to your senses."

"Never." I giggle as he places a kiss on my fingers.

"Now back to information. I usually have my team doing research, but that's not an option, so I need you to be honest with me."

"I will."

"Brutally. It's important. Because you're important to me and I can't risk being blindsided up there."

"Okay." His tone is soft and serious, his hand resting over mine in comfort.

"What can I expect?"

"They are going to do their best to discredit you and any witness I put up on that stand. You will need to be ready. Your friends will need to be ready."

"Friends?"

"We need character witnesses Jay. Would any of your ranger buddies do this for you?"

"I can't ask that of them Erin, they don't deserve to be dragged out into this circus."

"We don't have a choice Jay. They have sway with a jury because they are well liked, respected and perceived as honest. We need the jury to hear your peers stand behind you."

"Okay, I'll ask a few."

"Thank you. What about friends from that night?"

"I haven't been able to track any down yet."

"What about that lady?"

"No."

"Have you gone back? Maybe she still lives there."

"No one was home." He shrugs at me, growing frustrated with the prospects.

"Keep trying."

"Tell me about that night Jay. The night Allie was murdered."

Jay's eyes are full of grief as he takes a deep breath, eyes focusing behind me.

 _Flashback – The night Allie died_

 _Jay POV_

" _Hey Bro, have you seen Allie?"_

" _Yeah she's sulking out the back."_

" _Huh?"_

" _You two fighting again?"_

" _I didn't think so." I shrug, running my hand through my hair._

" _You're always fighting. No girl is worth this drama dude." I roll my eyes as my brother loses interest in me for the girl walking into the party._

 _I search the house before I find Allie in the backyard, sitting quietly and observing those around her._

" _Allie, there you are."_

" _Jay! Finally, you're late."_

" _Sorry my car wouldn't start, I had to walk."_

" _Ever heard of a phone."_

" _Whoa. Hey. I'm sorry I'm late but you don't have to snap at me as soon as I arrive."_

" _Whatever." I restrain myself from rolling my eyes recognizing the mood she's in from our time dating, she's looking for a fight and I'd rather not be the one to engage._

" _You're brother's an ass."_

" _Yep. We knew this already."_

" _I mean… how many girls does he screw over?" There's bitterness in her tone that makes me frown in confusion before the sound of glass breaking pulls my attention._

" _We need to talk Allie."_

" _It's fine, I know how these conversations go by now Jay."_

" _It's not like that." I assure her quickly, persuading her to find a quiet room with me so we can talk._

" _What's wrong?"_

" _I got in."_

" _What?"_

" _The military. I'm enlisting right after I graduate."_

" _What?" Her voice is breathy, shock in her eyes._

" _We talked about this."_

" _I didn't know you filled out the paperwork, what about me?"_

" _You're the one that wanted me to grow up."_

" _Taking it a bit far, are you not?" She spits out, anger in her eyes._

" _Allie, what the hell is going on with you?"_

" _I can't believe you're going to just leave me here to deal with this alone."_

" _Deal with what?" Her eyes widen briefly._

" _Nothing… I just meant… our break up or whatever."_

" _We don't have to break up Allie. Things have been strained with us lately, and I don't even know why you keep pulling away."_

" _Well now you're_ going _away and leaving the frickin country."_

" _Where did it go wrong with us?"_

" _Right now I'd say when you decided to leave me."_

" _Allie, my father doesn't support me. I really hoped I'd get support from you. You know why I want to serve."_

" _I just… I can't do this right now Jay. I need to go."_

" _Allie! Please."_

Present day – Erin POV

"Then she ran off, I followed… we broke up." I raise my eyebrow, noticing how hard that was for him and deciding to give a reprieve from walking me through that part of the evening.

"Deal with that? What was she talking about?"

"I don't know."

"We need to find out, by the sounds of it she was acting weird that night."

"She'd been out of character for a while… weeks at least."

"Whatever was going on with her, I'd bet my life it got her killed."

"I should have tried harder to get her to tell me… to let me walk her home."

"Jay… then maybe you'd be dead too."

There's a harsh knocking on the door, pulling our attention.

I frown at it gently, looking to Jay briefly before moving to get up.

"Is Jay Halstead here?" The two cops in front of me are blunt, shoving papers in my hands and moving me out of the way.

"Excuse me. Can I help you?" My tone is full of fire as I follow them to where Jay is getting up.

"Jay Halstead?"

"Yes, what's this about?"

"You need to turn around."

"What the hell are you doing?" I move to stand in front of them, eyes flying to the papers in my hands.

"We're taking you back into custody." The sound of handcuffs clicking onto his wrists brings my eyes up to look into his terrified ones.

"What are you doing?"

"His bail has been revoked."

"On what grounds?" I call out as they lead him to the door.

"Take it up with the court."

"He hasn't violated any of his bail terms." My feet stop in front of them, stopping them in their tracks.

"You need to move out of our way before I take you in too." I glare at the cop in front of me before sliding out of his way and crossing my arms.

"Stay calm Jay, don't say a word. I'll sort this out and come see you."

"Erin, what's going on?"

"I'll find out babe. Where are you taking him?"

"Down to the district, at which point he'll be transferred back to prison until trial."

"Like hell he will."

* * *

I'm pacing with my eyes focused on my white sneakers as I wait for the guards to bring Jay to me.

"Erin." My eyes fly up instantly, heart breaking when I see him back in an orange jumpsuit.

"Jay, you okay?" He nods stiffly as the guard takes off his cuffs and gives us the room.

"Baby." I close the distance between us and pull him close.

"What happened Erin?"

"You're dad did this."

"What? How?"

"He revoked bail."

"Why?"

"I don't know… I have only suspicions. But you can be damn sure I'm gonna find out."

"I wouldn't want to be my old man when you do." Jay tries to a chuckle but it dies in his throat.

"I never wanted you to be back in this." I pick at his organge jumpsuit and he takes my hand in his, moving my hands from his sides.

"You okay?" I narrow my eyes at him, having gotten use to the way he deflects when he's injured and hiding it from me.

"You're hurt." He doesn't have to nod, he knows it's not a question.

"Damn it. I'm gonna get you out of here." I promise fiercly.

"How?"

"Talk to the Judge, pay your bond."

"Erin, where are you going to get a million dollars?"

"Leave it to me to worry about."

"No, don't spend your money on me." I glare up at him, shaking my head quickly.

"I'm not leaving you in here Jay… I'll use my apartment."

"Erin, I can't ask you to do that."

"You're not asking. And frankly, you don't have a say."

"Just keep your head down, until I can get you out."

"I'll try." I lean up to give him a quick kiss before knocking on the door, letting the gaurd know I'm ready to leave.

"Try damn hard Jay Halstead." My eyes are glued to him, savouring every inch of him as the gaurd waits impaitently for me to exit the room.

* * *

Jay POV

My instincts have been on high alert since Erin left the prison, wishing my father had been a prick a little later in the day.

At least at night we're locked in a cell and I only have my cellmate to keep an eye on, not planning to get a wink of sleep tonight.

The cafiteria is loud, my eyes peircing as they sweep the room, my body positioned to the rest of the room, spoon firmly in my hand.

My body is stiff by the times we're ushered into the outside for yard time, my ribs protesting from an earlier beating as I find a place against the building keeping watch.

I can't stop the shake in my hand, curled into a tight fist as I try and control my uneven breath, having wished the last of this was behind me.

The few months in prison etched into my memory, the scars on my body never letting me forget.

I swallow harshly, focusing on my breathing, pushing down any PTSD fighting it's way through from the time I was captured overseas.

"Look who's back guys. It's the girlfriend killer." My jaw clenches, instincts hightened and ready for a fight.

"The wanna be cop. Corrupt, just like the rest of them." A fist comes flying out of nowhere, slammng in my jaw and sending me stubbling back.

I'm momentarily stunned they chose such a public area, rather than in an empty stack in the library or in line back to our cells to slip away in the chaos.

I slam my fist back, hearing his nose crack under the pressure, my other hand grapping the next arm coming at me and twisting it around, flinging the guy into the wall.

There's a flurry of punches exchanged as I battle to keep my head above solid ground until the gaurds can break us apart, my heart rate excellerates as two of the bigger guys grab me on each side.

My feet swing up to kick the approaching two away, breaking an arm free and sending my elbow back into his face.

Burning hot pain spreads through my stomach before I can throw off the last guy, my eyes fly down to see he's lodged a shiv in my stomach before twisting and pulling out.

He drives it back in before I can head butt him, sending him stumbling back briefly as more inmates flood over, protecting them from the approaching gaurds.

My hands are on my stomach, trying to keep my balance as red blood seeps onto my hands.

I sway on my feet, dropping to my knees as I lose focus on the chaos around me.

Sweat beads on my forehead as I apply pressure to my wounds, feeling my body growing weaker by the moment, blood soaking my prison jumpsuit.

"Lock the yard down!" Are the last words I hear as my body hits the ground, welcoming the unconscious releif from the pain radiating through my body.

Wondering if I'll wake up from this nightmare, or if perhaps this is where my story ends.

 **A/N: WHAT'S WITH THE CLIFFHANGER?!**

 **I can guarantee so many of you will say that... hahahah maybe review and convince me to update before I go ;)**

 **Hope you enjoyed the chapter.. I'm evil but we knew that already lol**

 **Thanks for reading :)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hey everyone :)**

 **So I'm not sure what prompted me to write tonight, I had a really good relaxing day.. first relaxing day in a while.**

 **And I just felt so happy driving back to the hostel tonight, I have an early morning and don't feel up to interacting with others tonight. I'm listening to myself and so hid away for me time. Somehow I ended up typing...**

 **Hope this was worth the wait :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Thirteen

Jay POV

My thoughts are foggy, the world fading in and out around me, blurred images and a muffle of sounds.

I barely register my own name being called out.

The burning in my abdomen is fading, leaving behind pleasant numbness in it's wake.

My eyes close for the last time, my last thoughts of a brunette goodness with warm hazel eyes, before the world around me goes dark.

* * *

Erin POV

Dread. It weighs me down like lead in my stomach, hand clutching my phone to my ear and eyes wild with worry and anger.

 _Jay. Prison fight. Hospital._

The words are a blur as my mind works to process the news.

"How serious is it?" The first words finally escape my tight lips.

"Well they've transferred him to the hospital, they couldn't treat him at the prison." My heart constricts further, knowing this must be serious.

"The wounds are quite extensive."

"Oh god." Tears burn my eyes and I shake my head, wishing this reality away.

"We need to rush him into surgery when he arrives." This final crushing blow sends me down a spiral before I grip the bench in front of me and steady my voice.

"Of course. I understand."

"So, you consent?" The simple question startles me.

"What?" The whispered words slip out as I race to the door and throw my keys in my bag, snatching the nearest coat.

"You're listed as his emergency contact." There's concern laced with confusion in her tone.

"Oh." I fumble with my coat.

"Oh?"

"I thought you were calling because he's my client… nevermind. Do what you have to. I'll be there soon."

My mind is racing as I jump in my car and speed towards the hospital, lost as to what news to process first.

* * *

"Erin." My head snaps up to see Will, eyes a fierce glare before glancing back down to my joined hands.

"Any news?"

"No, not yet." I sigh, glancing at my watch again.

"Are you happy now?" I finally look back up to him, showing my disgust.

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't care if he rotted in jail, but this is exactly what happens when he does."

"Why was he back there?" I narrow my eyes at Will, unsure weather to believe him.

"You don't know?"

"No."

"You're father revoked his bail." My eyes are burning with hate, forming words I'll soon be using on his father face to face.

"What? No, he wouldn't." Will's words are hallow, the truth of his fathers hostility towards Jay not lost on him.

"Well he did. I was in the process of securing funds to pay his bail when this happened." My hands run through my hair angrily pulling on the knots.

"Do you need some money for the bail?" I narrow my eyes questionably at Will, unsure of his motives and unwilling to trust him.

"I'll sort it, I've applied for an emergency hearing to have him back out on bail. You know, once he's released from hospital. And he _will_ be." I brush a tear away, refusing to believe any other alternative.

"Okay, let me know if you need anything."

"The only thing we need from you, you aren't willing to help with." Will opens his mouth, stutters before shrugging and walking off, shoulders hunched.

* * *

"Family of Jay Halstead?"

"Me!" I jump up eagerly to meet the doctor, watching her pull her scrub cap off.

"Is he okay?" The words tumble out, desperate for answers after all this waiting alone.

"His injuries were unfortunately not superficial, the shiv pierced his liver, so there was some serious bleeding."

"Oh my god."

"He'd lost a lot of blood so we had to get the bleeding under control and replenish his lost blood. It was touch and go for a minute but we've managed to stop the bleed and he's in a stable condition."

"Oh thank god." My knees buckle a little at the news, tears streaming down my face and matting my hair against my flushed cheeks.

"We've moved him into recovery, baring any complications from surgery he should be okay."

"Can I see him?"

"Sure, he's not awake yet though."

"Thank you so much." I resist the urge to reach out and hug her.

"He's very lucky."

"Why?"

"Liver lacerations can be tricky, seems like he put up a hell of a fight. If that shiv shredded his liver up anymore than it did…" She doesn't have to finish that sentence for me to understand her thoughts, shivers erupt down my spine.

* * *

"Oh Jay." More tears slip as I see him lying on the bed, eyes taking in his bruised face and knuckles. The pale tinge to his skin has me gulping back sobs wishing to break through.

"Why the _hell_ is he wearing cuffs?" My voice is deadly; so sharp it could cut steel, as I whirl towards the cop on duty.

"Standard procedure." He shrugs, his eyes betraying his startle at my tone.

"Fucking ridiculous. He's unconscious and you're literally two feet away from him."

I walk over to Jay's side, brushing his hair back and placing a kiss on his forehead, then the corner of his lips.

My fingertips trail over his cracked knuckles, leaning down to kiss these too.

"Can we have some privacy?"

"Sorry mam, I can't do that."

"Do I look like a mam to you? You've already cuffed him, just wait right outside the door." We're in a staring competition until he finally is ushered out with the doctor; I nod to her in silent appreciation.

"Oh Jay, don't ever do that to me again. You scared me."

* * *

My eyes keep drifting shut as I slump back in the chair, hand resting in Jay's limp hand.

Quiet groaning and slight pressure on my hand has my eyes snapping up to see Jay's piercing blue eyes.

"Jay! Babe, you're awake."

"Erin." His voice is a croaky whisper and I grab the water, placing the straw against his lips as I caress his cheek.

"Better?" He nods at me as I place it back down.

"Hey." I whisper as I lean in to kiss him gently.

"Hey." He whispers back against my lips.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." Another tear slips down, I catch Jay's hand on the way up to brush it away, not allowing him to strain himself, and knowing of an obstacle in his way.

"I can't go back to prison Erin." His voice is full of pain, his eyes so vulnerable with so much fear hidden there.

"I'm working on it." I promise fiercely.

"You were right."

"Always." Jay chuckles before wincing and moving to clutch his stomach, wrists stopped by the cuffs.

"What about this time?" I ask, caressing Jay's hand in mine as he stares at the cuff on his wrist.

"I need to do those TV interviews. I can't go back… I can't be taken away from you. I don't deserve to rot for someone else's crime." There's defeat in his gaze, hidden behind the determination to fight for his life, for his freedom.

"Thank you Jay, I'll set it up and we'll prep you."

"Thank you."

"You won't be alone, I'll be with you every step of the way."

"So…" I trail off; placing myself back on the edge of my seat, chin resting on the bars on the side of the bed.

"So?"

"When did you make me your emergency contact?" There's a hint of a smile on my face.

"I'm sorry, I didn't have anyone else…"

"Don't be sorry. I'm your family now Jay." I lean in to attach our lips in another kiss.

"Did they get the asshole who did this?"

"No one is talking, there were too many people around to see on the CCTV who did it. They'll want to question you when now that you're awake." My voice is quiet, as I break the news to him.

"Okay, good. I know exactly who did it. Bet he wishes he finished the job right about now."

"Don't. Don't joke about it. Please." Jay squeezes my hand in apology.

"Do you know why he did?"

"It seemed to be about me trying to be a cop… why?" His curious eyes are on me searching for answers he thinks I have.

"I'm just wondering if…"

"What?"

"If he was hired to do it. To shut you up… to have a perfect scapegoat for this crime."

"You think Allie's killer is behind this?"

"It's crossed my mind."

* * *

Erin POV

"He's a flight risk."

"Your honor, the prosecution must be kidding. He's laid up in hospital with stab wounds in his abdomen. He's not going anywhere."

"His father has considerable resources at his disposal."

"His father is the one who revoked his bail! You really think he's going to help him flee the country? No. Mr Halstead was on bail without an incident, he's got a permanent address and wants to make a life here, he has a right to life as normal while these proceedings are ongoing. If you would re instate bail I will ensure the bond is paid." My tone is professional and crisp, a hint of attitude directed at the prosecution.

"Mr Halstead could evade the authorities before trial." I struggle to refrain an eye roll at his last ditch attempt.

"There's no precedent for that, but there is precedent for not sending him back to jail. He gets beatings daily, and now they'd shived him. He won't be standing trial if he's killed in prison." My argument is calm and full of rational thoughts.

"One less person to waste tax payer money on."

"So you're proposing no fair trial for my client? I believe the phrase you're looking for is innocent until proven guilty." My tone is no longer professional, so much anger towards the man who uttered those words, even inferred Jay's death would be good for anyone, much less the justice system of Illinois.

"Enough. I've heard enough. Jay Halstead will be released on bail, bail set at $500 000." I smile as the judge bangs the gavel and turn to leave, when I see Jay's dad.

My eyes narrow as I approach him.

"Pat." His name is a hiss, full of sinister feelings.

"Miss Lindsay. What are you still doing with this loser case?" The way he speaks of his own son sends my blood boiling.

"It's not a loser case."

"I beg to differ."

"I never lose so I know for a fact it's not a loser case. What do you want?"

He just shrugs at me before turning to walk away, my anger snaps and I speed up my steps to come up behind him.

"Stop." His feet falter before he comes to a stop in a crowded hallway.

"He almost died, you're aware of that right?" He blinks in shock at the tone of my voice.

"I don't see how that's my concern." He finally replies, eyeing his surroundings carefully.

"He's your god damn son!" My voice is raised, every bit of strength keeping my fists at bay.

"I heard he's going to be fine."

"He's on trial for murder, he's not fine! I hope you know this is all your fault." I step closer to him, my eyes full of anger and hate.

"Excuse me?"

"How low do you have to be to revoke bail for your own son?"

"I made it clear I was withdrawing my financial support for Jay."

"He almost died! Do you even care?" I blink in shock, when the horrifying truth is even clearer than ever.

"Don't be so hysterical." Something snaps in my again, my feelings for every man who has always talked down to me, putting me in a box, labeling me.

" _Don't_. Just don't. Just because I'm a woman, you call me hysterical. We show our emotions and suddenly we're hysterical, we don't and we're cold hearted. God forbid a male act like that… nothing is said then. Make up your goddamn minds. But I won't apologise for reacting like this because I _care_ about Jay. I won't stop."

There's a fire in my belly, fueled by my anger and nothing in sight to extinguish such a raging fire.

"That's really not my concern." I narrow my eyes at him, darting my tongue out to wet my lips.

"You know, I've been wondering where to put my focus and attention, what thread to pull on that doesn't fit this puzzle… who near Jay would want him to look guilty." I level with Pat, watching some people stop to stare around us.

"I've decided to focus on you. Because you best be damn sure I'm coming for you."

 **A/N: I did consider things going a different way, but what fun would that be? ;)**

 **Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts. Thank you :)**

 **Unsure when I'll update next, currently driving around Scotland (which is beautiful and oh gosh, the accents are so lovely).**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: So this is a little bit of a filler chapter, but once we get to trial I've got LOTS planned. Super excited.**

 **Hope you enjoy :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Fourteen

Erin POV

"How you feeling babe?"

"Oh you know. Like I got a couple holes in me."

"Ha. Ha." I deadpan, sending him a harsh glare.

"Too soon?" He smirks at me; I notice the colour back in his cheeks and the food untouched on his tray.

"Not hungry?"

"Not for that crap."

"Does it beat prison food at least?" He glares at me.

"Too soon?" I tease back before pulling out the food from my bag.

"I guess it's a good thing I got you a burger." I lean down to place a kiss on his lips.

"You're amazing."

"I'm about to get more amazing."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Judge approved your release on bail, I've made payment so you're good to go."

"I can go home?" My heart swells at the sentence.

"As soon as the hospital releases you, yes I can take you home." His smile is contagious as I lean down to place a kiss on his forehead.

"Thank you."

"I'd do anything for you." I whisper softly, knowing I'll do whatever it takes to win the his case.

"How'd I get so lucky?"

"Shut up and eat your burger." I roll my eyes before sitting down with a smile.

We share small talk while Jay demolishes his burger, my heart full of gratitude he's still here with me.

After a while we are interrupted by the nurse coming in.

"Just going to check your wounds and change your dressings."

I debate stepping out, to avoid seeing what he suffered through.

I watch the nurse pull the bandages off and my stomach twists, remembering the distress I felt when I received the news of the attack.

We're silent as she checks and dresses the wounds, satisfied with how they are healing before she excuses herself.

"Have the police talked to you about the attack yet?" I ask softly, eyes still on his injuries.

"Yeah." He pulls his gown down.

"And?"

"They said they would investigate."

"Huh. So they don't really give a shit cuz to them you're guilty as sin…" I spit out, mind thrown back to the prosecutor at the bail hearing.

"They said it's hard to prove, so I have a feeling you're right."

"Then we have to ensure that you never get back there, and we sure as shit are going to investigate ourselves." My mind is already working on subpoena's to file.

"What's the point of focusing on that when I'm fighting for my life?" He throws his head back on the pillows, looking defeated.

There's another pang in my heart at the double meaning.

"I'd bet my money that there was a different motive for that attack Jay. Money."

"You think it was a hit?"

"Allie's murderer would have everything to gain if you died while incarcerated. You can't clear your name that way." I shrug, keeping the other information to myself knowing maybe he won't look at me the same once I share it.

"Do I want to know what you're insinuating?"

"No, and I don't want to tell you because I know exactly how you'll react."

"I'm slightly terrified." He raises his eyebrow, an attempt at a joke but the worry shining through.

"You have no reason to be, others however, they do."

"I trust you." We're interrupted by another knock on the door, watching as Will sticks his head in.

"Am I interrupting?"

"Yes." I glare at him; Jay catches my hand and tugs.

"It's okay babe." Our eyes meet and carry a silent conversation before I nod softly.

"Okay, I'll be outside."

I lean against the wall outside the room impatiently, wishing I could know what they are discussing.

Time passes slowly as I scroll through my phone messages, and emails I've missed today prioritizing as I go.

The door opening catches my attention.

"What did you want?"

"Just to talk." He shrugs, looking lost.

"About?"

"How he's feeling. I can't believe I almost lost him." His eyes are on the ground, his voice sounding far away.

"You care?"

"He's my brother Erin."

"That hasn't stopped you before."

"This has been hard on me okay?" He snaps at me.

"On you? How hard do you think it's been on Jay? Don't pout to me because I have no sympathy for you."

"Whatever Erin, I didn't come here to see my brothers lawyer slash girlfriend." I roll my eyes at him.

"Is that even ethical?" I clench my jaw knowing very well it's not.

"Is there a reason you don't want Jay solving this?" I deflect, asking a burning question.

"Wht's that supposed to mean?"

"The DNA was a close match." I step closer, my eyes not dropping from his.

"And?"

"You're a doctor do I have to spell this out? You're his brother." I raise an eyebrow before shrugging and walking back into Jay's room, leaving him speechless.

* * *

"Time to go home." I smile at Jay as the nurse brings the wheelchair into the room.

"I don't need that." He groans as I help him off the bed, slipping my phone into my jeans.

"Too bad. Hospital policy and all that."

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" I smirk over at him.

"Maybe. A little." I admit nuzzlnig his neck.

"Maybe more than a little." He fires back at me.

"Guilty." I giggle, tilting my head back for a kiss.

"Let's get you home."

* * *

"Welcome home." I'm supporting Jay into the apartment, throwing my bag down on the table by the door.

"Wow." He looks around at all the papers spread everywhere, including the couch.

"Guess this means you gotta get right into bed." I steer him towards the bedroom.

"Babe, I've spent days in a hospital bed. I'd like to change it up. Maybe sit on the couch."

"Well I'm tired, I'm going to have a nap."

Before I can turn him back to the couch to move some papers, he stops me and craddles my face in his hands.

"You do look tired baby, have you been getting much sleep?" The concern in his bright blue eyes is obvious.

"I knew I should have worn make up today." I joke half heartedly as he traces the dark circles and bags under my eyes.

"Showing my age today."

"You can't be serious. Baby you're beautiful… truly gorgeous. I love when you don't wear make up." He kisses me tenderly.

"I just…" I trail off, blinking back tears.

"What?" He whispers.

"That first night here alone… it hit me. Exactly what I'm fighting for. Being alone is what I'm in for if I lose this case, I'll be laying there just worrying about you like crazy every night. So I got up to work, and I've been working non stop ever since." He pulls my head against his chest and kisses my hair.

"God I don't deserve you."

"Yes you do." I whisper into his chest, inhaling his scent.

"Come on, let's get you into bed."

"I think I'm supposed to be taking care of you."

"Fine we'll help each other into bed."

"If only." I wink back at him, wishing he was up to such activities.

Laughter fills the apartment as we walk into the bedroom and crawl onto the bed, not even pausing to slip out of our jeans.

I kick my sneakers off before tiredly reaching down for Jays too and then snuggling back into his side.

* * *

The sun is setting when I wake, golden orange lighting up the room around us.

I snuggle further into Jay's warm chest, closing my eyes again feeling at peace.

"You're so beautiful." He whispers into my hair.

My eyes open, tilting my head back to look at him, seeing the sunset glow on his skin.

"Especially right now in this moment, I can't imagine anyone else I'd ever love as much as I love you."

"You love me?" I whisper, not quite beleiving all my dreams might come true. I've spent my life hiding from love, from relationships after my upbringing but a secret part of me craved exactly this, and burried it away.

"More than I thought possible, more than I've ever loved anyone." He strokes my cheek, his blue eyes conveying all his feelings to me.

"I love you too, so much it hurts." Our lips join, pouring all our love into it and wishing we could stay trapped in this moment forever.

* * *

"Alright, enough laying about. Time to get to work." I stretch, feeling more refreshed than I have in a long time, the nap stretched into a peaceful nights sleep.

"But first, food." I mumble as my tummy rumbles.

I climb from bed and strip from my jeans and shirt, looking back at Jay moving to sit up.

"Uh uh. Don't even think about it. Stay."

"But I need a shower too. Or are you gonna give me a sponge bath?" He smirks at me, while I roll my eyes.

"Alright, fine. But no sex."

"You're torturing me." He groans as I come around to help him stand, moving him into the bathroom before slipping him out of his clothes and discarding my underwear.

The process of showering is slow, careful with his heeling injuries and the need to wash my hair, the shampoo making the tiles slippery.

Finally, we emerge from the shower fresh and clean laughing at the experience.

I dry off and slip into new underwear and a new pair of jeans and shirt before helping Jay finish drying himself and slipping on some boxers.

"Okay, lean back on the counter so I can change the dressings."

I'm slow and soft as I move my hands over his abdomen changing his dressing, his body rigid and him stiffling some moans.

"Almost done."

"I'm okay." He pants out.

"You don't have to pretend with me, I won't think you're less of a man or anything. You've been stabbed Jay, I would be concerned if you didn't feel pain."

He catches my hand, causing me to look up, watching as he leans down to kiss me softly.

"Thank you."

We finish up in silence before I get out some sweats for Jay and a loose fitting shirt.

"You warm enough?" He chuckles and nods as he heads to the couch, trying to lean over and clear a space.

"Hey, hey, just slow down." I run over to clear the space.

"Besides, it's all in order."

"This chaos?" He raises an eyebrow before letting me help him sit down.

"Organised chaos. It's a thing. This is my process."

"Right."

"Okay, time for food. I'm starving, then to work."

I cook up bacon and eggs with toast, both of us eating in silence after I explain what Jay can do to help with the discovery.

I'm typing away on my laptop, switching up with reading more discovery and making more notes.

I highlight and bookmark items of interest, to circle back to before moving onto another box.

I remove my glasses to rub my eyes before slipping them back on, rolling the stiffness from my neck. My eyes catch Jay's looking at me in admiration.

"What?" Tucking hair behind my ears.

"You just blow me away."

"Reading and typing, yes… admirable work." I scoff before looking back down.

"You don't see it." I roll my eyes before sharing a gentle smile with him.

I open the next folder and frown for a moment at what's here.

"What?" Jay questions, trying to lean forward.

"Oh my god." I whisper, eyes scanning all the pages in this folder unable to beleive what I'm reading.

"I haven't seen this fact in evidence anywhere… it's not been made public and… is what the prosecution didn't want me to find? They think this speaks further to motive?" I'm talking to myself, usually asking these questions to other litigators on my team and the investigator at the firm.

Now only having myself to run through the importance and impact of this document.

"What?" Jay asks again, causing me to look up knowing this will crush him.

"I gotta go." I say suddenly, knowing I need to jump on this.

"No, babe. What did you find?"

"I'll tell you later." I gather the papers and run for the door, picking up my bag and jacket as I race out the door.

 **A/N: hehe more I love you's lol**

 **Please leave a review and let me know what you think :)**

 **Thank you**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Oh my god, I know I've been so slack but my new job is exhausting me lol**

 **I wasn't completely slacking... I did write some M rated material for Maddie hahahha**

 **But seriously, Jenna messaged me today 'I don't want to be one of those people but can you update?' lol so instead of thinking about it but feeling too tired, I made myself write.**

 **Enjoy :)**

Reasonable Doubt – Chapter Fifteen

Erin POV

"Jen, I need you."

"Erin…" I tilt my head, watching her look around for prying eyes.

"Please Jen, on the down low. I'll pay you. You're not exclusive to this firm." I'm practically begging as I follow her out of sight.

"No but they won't be happy with me." I heave a sigh, rolling my eyes.

"Do I have any of the senior partners in my corner?"

"Only one."

"They don't have to know. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." I see her bite her lip before she nods towards to the elevator.

"More private." I smirk at her before following her down to street level.

"You know my usual rates."

"Wouldn't have it anyway else… except maybe free." Come my good-natured quip.

"What do you need?"

"I found this in discovery." I hand her the file anxiously, practically feeling my heart beat out of my chest.

"Oh my god. Is it…?" I shrug as she trails off.

"I don't know. But I need you to do some digging."

"On it."

"And I'll send you some information about a possible witness I'm trying to track down."

"Got it, I'll find her."

"Do you still have your connection in the lab?" She's jotting notes down in her phone.

"Yeah, I'll see if I can get a sneak at the results."

"I need more." Her eyes meet mine, turning sympathetic.

"You really love him, huh?"

"Guilty." I shrug, feeling the tug of a smirk.

"It's your money." I roll my eyes before laughing.

"Look into Pat and Will Halstead."

"As viable suspects?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Anything else?"

"See what you can dig up on the victim. She was keeping a secret and it could be the key to this whole thing."

"This is important to you isn't it? I've never seen you like this before."

"Yes." I whisper trying to keep my composure.

" _He's_ that important to you?"

"Yes."

"Be careful Erin."

"I know, I know."

"I know, you know, but it doesn't mean you're thinking clearly about the ramifications."

* * *

"Jay? Where are you?" I frown as I enter the apartment, pulling my phone from my pocket to dial Jay's number.

My frown deepens as I reach his voicemail, worry gnawing at me.

I jump when my phone rings in my hand, disappointed when it's not Jay's name on the caller ID.

"Jen, you got anything?" I'm glaring at the couch Jay should still be planted on.

"Not yet but I thought you'd want to know your boys here."

"My boy? Where?" I'm half listening as I tear through the rest of the apartment.

"Jay. District 21."

"What the fuck?" I growl out as I slam my front door behind me.

* * *

"Where the hell is Jay Halstead?" It takes all my self restraint not to strangle the officer behind the desk.

"I'm sorry mam?"

"Cut the bullshit. My client. Where is he?" My glare is fierce, hands slamming on the counter.

"Who?" I grit my teeth.

"Jay. Halstead. He was brought in for questioning without my knowledge, without his attorney present and if I'm not in front of him in the next 60 seconds, I'm coming after you and every officer involved for denying his rights."

"One minute mam."

"Are you deaf? I just gave you a minute." He blinks at me in shock before picking up his phone to make a call. I roll my eyes before turning and waltzing back to where the interrogation rooms are.

"Mam, you can't go back there."

"Like hell I can't."

"Erin, over here!" I turn to see Jen indicating to a room, I nod in thanks before storming in.

"What the hell is going on?" The words are harsh and spilling from my mouth as I push the door open.

"We're questioning our murder suspect."

"Why the hell wasn't I notified?" I lean down close, hand resting on the table.

"It was on our list to put a call in." Our eyes narrow as we stare each other down.

"Bullshit. I want to be alone with my god damn client right now."

"You are welcome to sit in on the questioning, we haven't been going long." He shrugs turning back to Jay.

"Jay, did you ask for your lawyer?"

"Yes, I don't make that mistake twice."

"Great, then everything you have is inadmissible anyway. It's worth shit, so get the hell out." They exchange a look before moving to stand.

"Oh, and you better hope none of his stitches pulled during your little hand cuff and escort downtown show, because we'll bring a suit to the CPD and I don't think they can handle any more bad press right now."

I sink in the chair opposite Jay as the door shuts.

"Assholes."

"Thank god you're here."

"You okay?" I whisper, searching his face.

"Yeah. What the hell is this about?"

"My best guess would be an intimidation tactic and to see if you would take a deal. That your injury would urge you to reconsider spending life behind bars."

* * *

"So that was a complete waste of time."

"I told ya. That's the whole criminal justice system for you. Your tax dollars at work."

"So where'd you run off to before?" I look over at Jay settling on the couch and know the subject I least want has arrived.

"To see one of the investigators from the firm." I lick my lips nervously, ringing my hands nervously.

"Why you so nervous?" My eyes glance up in shock.

"I now you Erin, and your nervous ticks. What's going on?" I nod slowly, struggling to find the words.

"I thought you couldn't use their resources." Jay gives me a temorary reprieve.

"She's freelance so I'm free to hire her."

"How much is that?"

"Don't worry about it." I shake my head, rubbing my forehead desperately trying to rid me of this headache.

"That much huh?"

"We need her." Is my only response.

"What did you find?"

"Jay…this is going to be hard to hear."

"Tell me." I search his eyes before nodding softly, tears already filling my eyes.

"I was looking through the ME's report, and I found…"

"What?"

"Allie was pregnant when she died Jay."

I see the tears filling Jays eyes as he processes the new information, watching life as he knows it crash down.

I can imagine the life flashing through his eyes, an alternative life he never had the chance to have. Fate swooping in and taking the decision from them both.

He drops his eyes to his hands and I can only watch as he thinks of the life stolen from him.

The swell of her stomach, the immense joy when he welcomes the bundle of life into the world, flailing arms, first steps, riding a bike, the sullen teenager who fights against the dad jokes, all the while biting back a smile, with Allie watching on. Her perfect life, her perfect family.

The thought is like a stab in my heart, shame fills me when I realize Jay deserved that life, not this one. Even if it would have meant me giving up my happiness, giving up on the only man I'll ever love.

It's selfish but sometimes I wonder if this nightmare was fate stepping in, bringing two lost souls together.

I'd trade my chance at this life, for him to have had it with the girl stolen from his heart too soon.

"So that's what she meant that night? The conversation I couldn't make sense of… the one Will couldn't?" I sigh in relief that Jay has finally said a word, the time passing too slowly while he processes and mourns the news I've shared, shattering his world.

"I would imagine so." My voice is soft, feeling uncomfortable and searching for my place with this news so fresh.

"What don't you want to tell me?"

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not, I just… I hated having to tell you this." The lie pains me, but not as much as the truth. Tears burn my eyes as his shoulders slump and his blue eyes show he's swimming in pain.

In order to defend him I need to take these liberties, betrayal's an ugly word but one I'm sure he'll later use to describe me.

I'm not just fighting for his life, but mine too – because he is my life.

"You okay?" He takes me hand, rubbing it softly.

"Me? I'm fine. I'm worried about you." It's only part lie, I am worried for him. But I'm far from fine, lying to the man I love.

I swallow harshly knowing one day the look of love shining in his eyes when he gazes as me, will slip away.

"You're face looks so worried. Let me take some of this off you." He tugs on my hand, bringing me into his side and placing a kiss on my forehead.

My heart shatters from guilt, his smell helping my resolve knowing keeping him from prison is the only thing that matters.

"Jay, you've just been delivered with terrible news. The rest is minor in comparison."

* * *

I hear Jay enter the room quietly but don't look up from what I'm doing, busying myself from his sad eyes about his ex, and distracting myself from focusing on the moves I'm making to keep him out of prison.

"What are you doing?"

"This is your room." I shrug as I finish making the bed, turning to put clothes away in the drawers.

"What? Did I do something? Did something happen?"

"No Jay, we're fine." I turn to him, hating the pain in his eyes.

"Is it about the pregnancy?"

"God no." I close the distance between us, leading him over to the bed.

"Then what?"

"This is just for appearance sake… and you know. If we're ever asked - yes we have separate bedrooms."

"You've lost me."

"The ethics board. I could be disbarred for sleeping with a client. With everyone turning against us, either now or when the trial gets… messy then I wouldn't put it past your family to suggest publicly that we're dating."

"Oh."

"Anyone can use this to ruin us. Your case. Your future. _Our_ future. So in case it happens the story is simple. You can't afford rent because the good state of Illinois is dragging your name through the mud and you can't find work. I'm all into justice so I took time off to fight your case, and letting your crash here in assistance."

"Okay." I can tell the word is automatic, his brain still processing.

"No more affection in public okay? Or hell, in front of your brother. Okay? And I hope to god we never get subpoenaed. I never should have been so careless, I got caught up in a whirlwind." I curse at myself for losing my clarity.

"It's serious?"

"Yes. It does however work in your benefit should you be found guilty." I turn back towards the clothes when his hand grabs mine.

"What are you talking about?"

"If you're convicted, maybe one day my visits to see you aren't enough. You'll report me for sleeping with you during your trial, and that I was ineffective council, I was distracted… and I compromised your defense. You'll demand a new trial and I'll get disbarred. Hypothetically."

"I would never." I look into his eyes and see the truth shining so bright, his moral compass too good to ever betray me.

"I believe you. I wish I had your moral compass." My hand caresses his chest.

"You do." _If only you knew._

"I might actually want you to do that if you're convicted and our appeal doesn't work." I whisper, stepping further into his embrace.

"Don't think like that Erin."

"I can't help it."

"I worry about you if we lose." He cups my cheek bringing my lips to his gently.

"What do you mean?"

"That you'll blame yourself because you're in charge of the defense and you'll question what you did wrong, what you should have done differently…"

"What are you suggesting?"

"I can find a new lawyer if you need me to."

" _No_. I need to do this Jay. I've got this." His eyes search mine for what feels like eternity.

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too." I whisper against his lips.

 **A/N: Hope you liked!**

 **Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts, also if you can shout out what story I should update next :)**

 **thank you,**

 **Lexi**


End file.
